"Have YOU Been Adopted?"

There is a sweet couple in our church who has just adopted a son from China. I would love to show you his sweet little face, but I've not asked their permission to do so....so I won't. They are writing a Blog throughout their journey and adventures of being in China as well as welcoming a new life into their hearts and home. I have to say that I've literally fallen in love with this family through these writings! My husband and I know them through church as well as volunteering at our church mission. But, there's just something real and special when you are welcomed into their own personal world through their writings. I hope that many of you, who may read the Blogs I share, will have that same sense of being drawn closer to me in knowing that I am real and I am human....making me a real human. :-) Although, I may not be the most outgoing person in the face to face world.....I give you my heart and soul in my writing.

Enough about me.....

This couple knew from the beginning that they were being led by God Himself when they began this process. As with any adoption, I'm sure there were times of feeling anxious and overwhelmed by it all. But, when they saw their son's face, in person, for the very first time.....I'm almost sure that the sheer joy and blessing of that very moment made them realize - - God is AWESOME and it all was worth it!! I love it how that very day they titled it "Gotcha Day!" They had one full day with this precious child, sent from God, and then they were given the decision as to whether or not to keep him as their own. They did not decline, and officially and lovingly received this sweet little boy into their hearts and family!

And now?
Now comes the FUN stuff. . . Life, living, adjusting, accepting. . . all done with a heart of thankfulness to a God who knew....who cared......and who loved. I have encouraged this couple to continue on with their Blogging of their many wonderful stories. And I'm looking forward to each and everyone of them too!!

Some may wonder why did you title this Blog "Have YOU Been Adopted?"
I hope it did make you wonder. :-)
For this entire story is also very symbolic of what God Himself has done for you - child of God!
Or it is very symbolic of what God Himself can DO for you - child without God!

You see....we were ALL once (and some may still be) an orphan! We all know that the very word "orphan" brings sad thoughts to our minds - - for it is one in need of someone to love them, to provide for them, and to take care of them. And that's where our Heavenly Father - The One and Only True and Living God Almighty steps in and says "I love YOU, I have provided for YOU, and I want to take care of YOU."

Friend, know that God Himself knows all about you, for he created you, and still loves you with an everlasting love. Just as this sweet couple has heard of the difficulties and hardships this little boy has lived in his short life - they too love him with an everlasting - love - no matter what!
Second, He has provided for you a salvation, that none other can provide, through his Son Jesus Himself in paying all of the debts we ourself owe. Just as this little boy had no way to pay his way into the hearts and home of a loving family, therefore relying on the grace and love of two people to pay it for him. (Kinda the same thinking in a way anyways). 
And lastly, God does care and he cares in such ways that continue to amaze and astonish us daily! I'm betting this little one, when old enough, will look back and be amazed and astonished at the genuine care and well being that they have given him.....simply because they loved HIM.

Friend, YOU may be an orphan today and not even know it. Or maybe you are aware and are in great need of someone to love you, provide for you, and care for you as only our Heavenly Father can. Know, today, this very thing. . . God has chosen YOU to be HIS child both now and forever and always. How do I know that? Because God says he wants no one to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9. He also has provided for YOU, as stated above through his Son Jesus paying our full debt, that we owe ourselves, for our sins. And in that knowledge of our sins, God has provided a way unto him...the only way and no other way. And today, you can receive this way and be welcomed into the eternal family of God as an adopted child!

What must I do then?
It's as simple and easy as A, B, C!! Nothing more and nothing less!!
A= Accept that you are a sinner in need of a Saviour!
B= Believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead!
C= Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and call upon Him as your Lord and Savior to save YOU!

Romans 10:9-10 - "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."

THAT'S IT!!!!

Galatians 4: 4-7 - "But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, to redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba Father. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ."

Friend, he chose you, he redeems you, and he makes you his adopted and forever child of God!!!

So....again, I will ask - - Have YOU been adopted?
If you haven't......what better time than TODAY to become adopted!
Say YES to the BEST!!!

"Peace, Peace, and More Peace!"

As I was asking God today what to share in the Blogs he gives me, I kept coming back to today's message in church. So in not going any other way but God's....I will once again share with you the points taken.

Have you ever stop and thought about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and what was asked of her at such an early age? With the angel, Gabriel, coming and delivering the news to her that she, a virgin, would become pregnant? But not just pregnant with a child . . . She would bare the living Son of God from her womb! Did all that she would face, not only in the coming days but in the years ahead, possibly run frantically through her mind? Ridicule, gossip, slander, disbelief, criticism from others even possibly from her own family? For Mary was brought up in a very conservative Jewish home and things such as this simply had never existed. Mary would face, most likely, all of these things and much more. . . years of hardships and trials. But Mary, in her heart, believed and trusted God for his provision and care. And in that absolute trust - God blessed her with peace. In Luke 1: 38 Mary responds with "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said."

Mary had total trust in the utter reliability of God. She knew he alone would carry her through and be ALL that she needed. Even though Mary had such faith, she would still have to go through the storms of life. For God did not take her out of the storms, but rather was there with her through each and every moment providing what was needed......confirmation, comfort, blessing, guidance, a path, a plan, and provision.

Friend, do not get peace mixed up with what we conceive as happiness today. For many can be fooled into thinking peace is happiness and happiness is a feeling. Our definition of happiness can sometimes consist of temporary feelings, situations, emotions. But feelings are up and down and unpredictable just as well situations and circumstances. None of which are solid and lasting. But God's definition of happiness can be much different. He says happiness is a soul satisfying serenity regardless of what is happening around us! That is exactly what Mary had.... a soul satisfying serenity that this was God's plan for her life and she would accept sight unseen.

You may ask - How can I have that kind of peace today in my world??
First know that it's available for anyone!! You don't buy it, achieve it, or inherit it.
Ready for this?
You trust.

Sound familiar?
I shared the very same formula previously in my last Blog for hope!
That's right.

1.) Hope and Peace share the very same perscription > > Trusting with an absolute trust in the utter and complete reliability of God who cares for you.
Trusting in his promises for you. Trusting in what he says will be even when we do not see it, hear it, or feel it. Trusting that God himself is the highest authority and he rules and overrules ALL. Trusting that he is your everything - - Counselor, Healer, Provision........ALL. In God and God alone you are and you will be taken care of....no matter what.

2.) Peace is NOT tied to circumstances!
If this were true, as mentioned above, our peace would be fleeting, here today gone tomorrow, unpredictable. Too many times we get caught up in saying
If only my spouse was _______.   Did  _______.   Acted like _____. 
If only my child(ren) were like ________. Did ______. Acted  like _____.
If only my family were like ________. Did ______. Acted like ______.
       (and the list goes on.....)
Then....THEN we could be happy and have peace!!!
My friend, again....thankfully our peace is NOT tied to circumstances.

3.) What our peace IS tied to is a person.....the person of G O D.
God and God alone will supply ALL your needs. Carry you through your storms. His person, his ways, his Word are trustworthy. For he is......faithful.

When we trust, it leads to surrender. And surrender leads to obedience.
Friend, surrender all your frettings to God as well as all your plans and watch how he works it all out for your very own good! And not only surrender, but obey his Words and his guidance he gives you.

And child of God....if you are saying "Peace isn't there." It could be that it's a matter of trust. Ask yourself : Where am I not trusting God in my life? What am I not trusting him with?
Just as sure as I know that God loves YOU.....he will most certainly accept your prayer of asking forgiveness for not trusting as he has asked us to. And....help you to once again began trusting with an absolute trust allowing his true PEACE to flow.

Let this Christmas be a time of HOPE and PEACE in your life.
Trusting in the complete and utter reliability of our God who knows and has promised to carry you through. :)

"Hope! Hope! and More Hope!!"

Hey guess what?!
Did you know that there is hope in any and every situation and circumstance of life that you face today?! Yup, sure is!! Just as sure as I'm sitting here writing this to you....and I am.....there is hope!!!

This topic is nothing new for me to write about in my Blogs, for it's been shared many times. And so it is that I know I'm being led once again to share a very heartfelt subject.

If I could share anything on this awesome word - HOPE - it would be when things, people, situations, problems, circumstances appear hopeless, God is ALWAYS at work!!!

Often many times all we see and focus on is what is right in front of us....the unchanged. If we could only see the mighty hand of God at work in our lives and the lives of those we love, we would never have reason to doubt. But it is in those times of discouragement and possible doubt that God says "Child, trust me. I'm working. You don't have to see it to believe it." Often, what appears to be ordinary and mundane is God working behind the scenes with his extraordinary power and hope. Many times there will be no indication of the hope that is coming!

God offers hope abundantly- life changing hope - hope that shatters any and all hopelessness! And what God is NOT doing is mingling or diluting your hopelessness with his hope to make it more tolerable! That is not the mighty and all powerful God we know and serve! He is here to shatter hopelessness completely!!

We must resist the questioning of God's promises and reliability to us. Don't let hopelessness take you to a place of being consumed and therefore viewing all things in our lives through hopelessness.

You may ask: Then how do I get hope?
Want a simple answer?
Trust.

Trust in the promises of God that he is ALL that he says he is - - Healer, Comforter, Provider, Rescuer, Restorer, Savior, Protector, Forgiver....and so much more.
Trust simply in a God who knows, who loves, who cares, is in control, and is taking care of YOU (and those you love)....even when you don't see it.

Believe even when there is no sign to believe.  He is going to do in your life what he has promised to do! If you are not sure of what he has promised to do.....go and begin reading the book of Psalms, for it is full of God's promises made especially to and for YOU.

So friend.....what do you do when the things of life appear to be full of hopelessness and no change seems to be in sight? Do you run to the world looking for reasons why and how to overcome it? Or do you choose trust - - trust in an Almighty Loving Heavenly Father who is there to guide you through?

And remember - - When all appears hopeless.....God is ALWAYS at work!!!!

(Points in this Blog were taken from the message shared today in my church. I thought it was so encouraging and wanted to share with you!)

"Dear, How Long Is This Going To Take?"

My sweet husband is redoing a bathroom.
Nothing really spectacular about that for a story now is there? Although, I do think he IS spectacular and doing a wonderful job!

This particular bathroom has taken him at least 2 months to give his labor of love on. And shall I say....the work continues. In the beginning dear husband thought this project would take no more than 2 weekends to complete - - little did he know.

Carry on dear, for there really is light at the end of the tunnel!!

As I watch him work diligently on each project through completion, I think of God and how he works in our lives. We are individually each a project of God. Each area is a unique work of God. We trust him to form us into the very man/woman of God he has chosen us to be. With that said, there are times that God decides to take his time in the molding process. Instead of a short 2 weekend project, it becomes a lengthier one.

There are many areas of life that God is shaping daily. Our faith, our trust, our hope, our character, our obedience.....and the list goes on. In some areas he works quickly. In others, painfully slooow. But his timing is perfect always. There are times that we call upon God for healing from grief, loss, pain, discouragement and his answer is - wait on me, trust in me, hope in me. "Wait on the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Ps. 27:14. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5. "Those who hope in me will not be dissappointed." Isaiah 49:23c.

Maybe you have prayed for your children to have their eyes opened, their hearts softened, their wills brought into submission of living for him. And it may seem the more you pray, the further they drift out into this world. Does it hurt? You BETCHA! Is it discouraging? Absolutely! Does that mean you give up on God answering your prayers and delivering them? Ten million times over - a strong and absolute.....NO! what it does mean is that we keep on believing God's Word; never being moved away from it by what you see or feel. And as you stand firm, God's power is being developed in you. The fact of looking at your prayers and knowing this is God's will for your children's lives, and being unmoved by what you see or do NOT see- makes you stronger in every sense of the word.

I know that - "Deliverance comes from the Lord." Ps 3:8. I know that - "He rescues and he saves." Daniel 6:27. And I also know that - God uses his power to change the areas in my children's lives, and my own, that desperately need his touch. "Ah Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outsretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." Jeremiah 32:17. I know that - God's timing is perfect and lacking nothing. Think of Abraham and Sarah who were promised a son. God required a whole 25 years to pass before that promise was fulfilled!! "And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised." Hebrews 7:15.

And so my friend....whatever you are waiting on God for in your life - deliverance, hope, answers, strength, know that God hears, God sees, God knows. His answers will come in HIS timing. For we serve a faithful and trustworthy Lord God Almighty.

And just as I wait patiently on my loving husband to finish up what he has started.....I wait on a loving Father who will finish what he has started as well! "He who began a good work in you (or your children) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6.

"That Phone Call No Parent Wants!"

I really thought I had Blogged about this story already. I guess the time was never right til now as they say. It has been crossing my mind ever so often to share with you.

Four years and seven months ago (April 08) I received a phone call from my daughter, Savannah, who would have been about 2 months from turning 17.  She told me she had been in a wreck. It wasn't the first time for me to receive such a phone call. Our daughter, Heather, previously had multiple wrecks herself . This would be Savannah's first one.

As I remember, she didn't have panic in her voice....most likely she just matter of factly told me we needed to come. I gave the phone to her Dad and thats when he was put on the phone with the Fireman. Wait....the Fireman?!? Hmm....a little unsettling, but still nonetheless we assumed all was well.

We got the location and we're off to find her.

As we are driving, we see countless flashing lights ahead. Hmm.... As we are nearing the lights, we see that the entire FOUR lanes of traffic, on Hwy 1960 going both directions, are completely closed down!! We pull over and begin walking. Still not understanding the sights we are seeing! Savannah had simply said "I've been in a wreck. You need to come." (My heart is starting to race as I'm just thinking back and relaying this story with you.) Closer we come upon the scene. . . there in front of us in a vehicle turned over on it's side. It's laying in the grass median of the intersection of 1960 and Will Clayton. I quickly exclaim to David, "Look someone's car is turned over!! O my gosh!!" It is nightime. We are walking around it and that's when we notice......this isn't just someone's car anymore. This is our daughter's truck!!!!!!!!!!!! (I seriously did not think I would have this reaction while sharing this story with you...but my heart still is racing remembering this moment!)



That's when my mind just started going numb I suppose. 

As we kept walking towards the now visible Ambulance, I wasn't quite thinking clearly. David had to reach for my hand and pull me back from being hit by some passing cars even. All I could think is "How can this be happening? Cars turned over are serious! She just simply said 'Ive been in a wreck'. This isn't a wreck, this is a WRECK!!"

We found Savannah with the Fireman. He had put a neck brace on her and they were about to load her onto a stretcher. Still puzzled, I can't believe my eyes. She appeared to be visibly alright. She was shaking. She remained calm. As her mother, I wanted to reach out to her and hold her in my arms. I was SO thankful she was alive after seeing her truck and would be even MORESO thankful later as I heard the details of the story to follow. But....I couldn't. We, as her family, had, have, and will always love her dearly....but we were not close in fellowship. She was living with another family pretty much during that time. And it would be them who would reach out to her. That hurt deeply as her mother. But, I hold no remorse for this family. As she was placed on the stretcher and shaking....I simply reached out to touch her leg somehow hoping she knew just how very MUCH I cared.



Savannah was with a friend (daughter and neice to family reaching out to her) and so they both were transported to a hospital in another town. As I watched her ambulance go away, I just sat there and wondered helplessly what was happening to my daughter. David went and talked with the police and witnesses. The story goes as follows: Savannah and Jessi were leaving Chick Fila entering 1960. As they came upon the Will Clayton intersection, they both were talking and NOT noticing the very RED light in front of them. Savannah drove through the intersection and 1 van and 1 car hit her hard at the same time. This would send her truck spinning in circles AND rolling over several times before coming to a rest on it's side in the median, right beside a pole!

Jessi would later say that she could remember looking over and seeing Savannah's hair flying all over the place and wondering what was happening to them. Terrifying to say the least!! Once they came to a stop there were some friends that had seen the wreck and ran up to it. They first started trying to rock the truck back over. Once that wasn't accomplished, they got the passenger side door opened and tried to get the girls out. Savannah remembers smelling something and thinking her truck was about to catch on fire. No way was she going to burn alive! She tried to get Jessi to crawl out quickly, but apparently she was too dazed to move. That's when my dear daughter puts plan to action and actually crawls literally over Jessi and out the passenger door!!! They did get Jessi to crawl out as well. :)

In time, we arrived at the hospital. I was very anxious to hear how my daughter was and where she was. They were only allowing 2 people back at a time to talk to her. Again...WHAT is happening here....going through my mind! Heather, her sister, had receieved word about the wreck and actually beat us there to the hospital. She was back with her at the time. I went when allowed and found my daughter sitting up in bed smiling and talking as usual like nothing major had even happened! She had some minor cuts and scratches from the flying glass and probably some bruising later. I was so very THANKFUL!! I had to ask her if I could hug her....and again very THANKFUL I was that she let me!! It was quick, but it was a hug that I needed to give. I left her room and went back to the waiting area to do what you do in a waiting area......wait. Jessi, her friend, was complaining about a little more serious injuries. So we waited with her family. Before not too long, Savannah was released and comes walking out. She sat with us to wait to hear Jessi was going to be. In time, Jessi was released and both girls miraculously walked out and away from that hospital on their own!! We would later hear just how serious of a wreck that was through others as well as our insurance agency. Many, many people do NOT walk away from a wreck such as that....in fact many die!! These 2 girls were given a giant miracle as well as a very BIG BLESSING!! We hoped that we could and tried to convey that as much as possible to Savannah. She seemed to understand.

In the following days, we located her truck in a junk yard.

Can I just say here that as David and I came upon this truck in full daylight, the full reality and somberness of this event really hit us H A R D. There is just something about the fullness of a tragic situation being brought to full terms that makes you realize just what a beautiful blessing you have just been given. It was almost eerie looking at this mess and leaning inside the doors to realize what your precious child just went through.



Pictures don't always do justice, but here are some:

You can see the grass in the frame from rolling over.

That wheel is in the wrong place by the way!

Needless to say....the truck was totaled.

But thankfully....our daughter was not! :)

There is one very special picture I will leave with you as I close at this memory and story. This picture I share speaks a 1,000 words to this Mother. Although it may not speak as many to you, know that it holds a very dear place in my heart.

This picture was taken after the fact that this truck had not only spun, but rolled as well. This picture was also taken after the fact that this truck had been righted up, hoisted up, taken to a junk yard, and placed in the position it now was in. In this picture, you will see one penny lying in the driver's seat...my daughter's seat.

For those who know and those who don't know, pennies have meant so very much to me. For on them, as we know, it says In God We Trust. Each time I see a penny on the ground I pick it up and it to me it symbolizes a reminder that I CAN trust in God for He is there reminding me to and showing me that He is with me. So when I saw this one lone penny sitting there in her seat, it was as if God Himself was saying "See...just keep trusting me. I took care of her through this terrible accident. I will continue to take care of her as the days come and go." And in that I say ..... "Yes, God. I do and I will trust you. For YOU alone are trustworthy!" Although there have been bumps in the road and I don't always understand all that He allows and doesn't allow.....I will trust my heavenly Father. For in Him I find my hope.



Thanks for letting me share a very special time in my life.

I hope that in reading it, you also will find God to be trustworthy in your own life.

For He is.

"Today....I Share Me With You!"

Today....I share me!

I have often found myself squirming when asked the question "So what is it that you do with your time?" I don't know why other than the fact alone of what will others think....I guess. But it shouldn't really matter and I've decided that it doesn't.

You see I have a unique life and it doesn't match most everyone elses.....and I like that. That trait alone, I'm sure, comes from my Dad and for those who KNOW him can laugh along with me on that note. :) I've been married to my very best friend for 25 years and for over 24 of those years I haven't worked. I would become a Mom 9 months after marriage and from there on out gave my life to being a servant of God first, a wife second, and a Mom third.

Sidenote: I did try once to take a job during those years and found out 3 things - - 1.) I don't like other people's kids. 2.) I don't like my own kids being in daycare. 3.) I left when they said I had to make up my own curriculum. It was a daycare teacher's AID job and yes it didn't last long at all!! Haha!

So part of my unique life has been that I haven't needed a job to make me who I am in this world. Don't read that offensively - those who find themselves through their careers are good, well, and fine. I did struggle with that for probably many years thinking that I wasn't using my fullest potential of why God put me here. But I don't see it that way anymore. Rather He has placed me in life right where He wants me.

Sidenote #2: I do know what it's like to have a job in case you were thinking this girl never worked a day in her life! Before marriage at 21, I could say I've been a Teacher's Aid, a Daycare Teacher, a Office Secretary's Aid, a Dental Assistant, and an Accounts Receivable Data Clerk. So yes....I've worked. :)

Another part of my unique life is that in all my spare time I haven't needed to fill it with "women stuff" such as get-togethers, parties, group things, events, projects....all that women like to do together. To be honest, I just fill lost in a crowd and would rather just be me....at home. :) I think I have a Mother In Law that could identify with this thinking. ;)

And yet one more aspect to my unique life....I do have time!!! In today's world it seems the number one thing said "If I only had more TIME!!" When you turn on the radio you hear "I know you are SO BUSY and there isn't enough time." When you go to church you hear the pastors say "I know you are SO BUSY and there isn't enough time." Everywhere everyone is saying "I'M SO BUSY!!!" People ask me "Well, how are you? Life busy for you right?" to which I say "No...it's normal."
People - everyone is not busy.....and that's ok. I just wish people wouldn't be generalized into a catagory. I tend to brake out of them anyways. I haven't always - but through the sweet patience and love of my husband - I today can see more clearly how that NOT being busy is such a blessing! :)

So with that being shared.....I answer your question of "What do you do with your time?"
My time is devoted to God first through prayer and Bible reading, and my husband second through spending each and every single moment we are allowed together. When David and I are not together, it is due to work...but even in this we are blessed because he has such a schedule that allows more time to be spent together than probably most. So I live my days to be in God's will and fellowship foremost, and to enjoy each and every single God given moment with the man I love. I have no greater calling or purpose than to fulfill these two blessings in my life. Yes....my children are loved deeply by me and all you have to do is read my Blogs to know that. But, they are God's to deal with. I will always love them and be here for them, but my life is lived for God and my husband....nothing more, nothing less.

Annnnd any time spent in between those two purposes I live for is taken up by whatever I feel like doing for the day. It may be blogging a Blog, reading and sharing on FB, swinging in my favorite swing outside in between 2 trees (no matter the heat of the day...I love it!), cleaning my house, listening to my favorite Michael Jackson CD, taking a walk, playing games on my phone with those I love, organinzing a pantry, sitting on the couch petting my kitty, calling my Mom (the ONLY person in the world I love talking on the phone to!!) .......or anything. Whatever pops into this little head of mine. Do I have times of being bored? Sure I do. But, doesn't everyone?! It's in all those other times of just seeing how truly blessed I am with the life I have that gets me through the boring times. Be it busy....or not. Be it full ..... or not. What it is full of is love, happiness, peace, grace, mercy, fellowship.....and a God and husband who accept me.....just as I am. :)

Friend, I shared me with you not to offend you, show off to you, or disrespect you. I shared me with you to show you a part of me not many know as well as to say......this is my life and I am blessed......but you have your life and you are blessed TOO! Take the time to see the blessings all around you. Our lives don't have to parrallel for that to be seen! God has you right where He wants you, and He has me right where He wants me.....and both are equally blessed!! :) My life isn't better than yours, nor is yours better than mine.

Don't compare! I once had a lady tell me "....well surely you must do more than that with your time." And then she proceeded to tell me everything she did and was involved in. Needless to say....it was the wrong thing for her to say. She would not know that because I kindly shoved it off. Don't let people make you feel small and insignificant. We are ALL here for a purpose to bring praise, glory and honor to Lord Jesus Christ Himself. For some that may mean being "busy" and for others it may mean being less "busy"....but nonetheless both pleasing and loved by God.

"Not Yet....But I Know Where My Hope Is!"

It's been two months since my last Blog. I have so wanted to write, but just haven't felt led or inspired in knowing what to share with you my readers. Today, as I was walking and listening to my music, I finally felt led once again to have something to share. I thank God in every way for that, for I do not write this Blog or any Blogs without Him.

You see though. . . I feel a little confused because I've shared this topic - HOPE - before. . . in fact many times. For that IS what my story and life is all about - HOPE. I even look back and 2 years, almost exact, I was sharing this very subject - HOPE- in an in depth way. But, I believe God is saying "Tell it again. People need hope." And so it is that I continue to share my story of HOPE........

Not quite sure knowing where to dive into this story, I will just begin with this -
We have a child that is living their life in some very real sin. I will not disclose by name nor gender, for I do not wish to slander any of my children. Should you choose to try and guess which one or judge them that is between you and God to deal with. This child is in full knowledge of the sin they are choosing to participate in because, if for no other reason, their Dad and I have made it directly aware to them. This child chooses, with all knowledge of sin, to fully continue on seemingly having no regrets whatsoever. I, myself, have even made it quite clear that they can and will bring God's judgement and wrath on them should they desire to continue on. To my utter disbelief and amazement it seems to affect them none whatsoever. I shake my head at this very fact for as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult myself I could NOT even begin to perceive heading on knowing that fact!! If for no other reason just knowing God can and most likely will do something dreadful!! Where is the reverent fear in our children today??

As I once again, last night, discussed this situation of living in sin to this child it was met with statements such as these "I know YOU feel this is wrong, it goes against what YOU think is right, it makes YOU sad...." I stopped the child and said "This has absolutely nothing to do with me! This is God Himself saying this is wrong and not to continue on. It's very plain in the Bible and I can show you." And of course the child wanted nothing to do with what was said in the Bible....sadly. And so it continued on with the same theme....I know YOU feel this is wrong.....  At one point I was even met with I was using God as a "cop out" to say what I wanted to share with them. This child wasn't believing that God would share with me to share with them of the sin they are choosing to willfully live in! How very sad. I very lovingly and calmly told my child that I love them, that is why I share these things, and I don't want to see them bring the very judgement of God on their life. It is very clear in the Bible that a child of God cannot and will not go on sinning willfully. I was met with love in return, but also a very sure and absolute that this child was not in anyway changing nor turning from their wrong and willfull ways. They were happy with life and that was that. How fast this child forgets all the troubles - emotionally, physically, and spiritually that they have been dealing with.

I could go on. . . .
But does that really help to know all the disappointments? I shared with you what I did only to let you see some of the pain that is there and how real it is. These things do indeed give this Mother's heart a heavy and sad one for my child.

As I talked with my David, last night, of all that was said and shared with this child it of course saddened him...even to the point of tears in his eyes (I do not share that lightly with you....know that). We talked about the frustration of not knowing what our part is....what course of action to take if there is one.....how to keep showing love, but all the while NOT showing acceptance of choices made. So many things to think about, wonder WHY about, wonder how long will we be waiting for things to get right....when it has seemed so long already.

But remember - - this is a Blog of HOPE!!

Towards the end of our conversation, I was sharing another dear Mother's testimony of her children and how far they had came in their lives. I then asked David "Their is hope....right? I mean that day is coming....right? We've waited so long surely it's coming....right?" And my faith filled and steadily trusting husband replied with "I don't know if and when that day will come. But our hope is NOT in the fact of hoping our children will one day wake up and make the right decisions. One day start living a life that is pleasing to God. Our hope is..... in God." Ok, I paraphrased some there....he's not a man of many words, but that was his true meaning. We doNOT hope in our children, but we DO hope in our God. And just as I've said before many times.....His plans don't have to look like, sound like, feel like, or even smell like what we think they should. God is God and His knowledge fars outweighs our very teeny tiny own. He is trustworthy even when it's hard to trust. He is faithful even when we are not. He is constant even when much of life isn't.

As I said earlier, I was walking and listening to my music.....the very first song that was played as soon as I turned it on was "My Hope is in You" by Aaron Shust! How awesome is that!! For it wasn't a song about my hope is in my children, in my husband, in my {insert whatever}, but my hope IS in you (God and God alone!).
My hope is in You Lord
All the day long
I won't be shaken by drought or storm
The peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing
My hope is in You alone
I will wait on You
You are my refuge
One other song of encouragement I share with you are the words. . .

Even when it hurts
Even when it’s hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
‘Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul, Healer of my scars,
You steady my heart, You steady my heart

I’m not gonna worry
I know that You’ve got me
Right inside the palm of Your hand
Each and every moment
What’s good and what gets broken
Happens just the way You plan

And I will run to You
I’ll find refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
‘Cause of everything You are
You steady my heart

Friend, I know there is hope and it's real. God has delivered me from some very real sin in the past. And this I know is true..... God and God alone was the very One to do it. If you ever should wonder if God can truly deliver, go and read Psalm 34....He will tell you not once but FOUR times of His deliverance in your life! Trust Him. Hope is real.

And so it is with this that I end this Blog......I do not wait on my child to see the error of their ways and turn from their willfull sins, but rather I wait on God and God alone to deliver - in His time and in His way.

Thanks for reading. :)

"What's Left After Mom?!?!"

As I sit here tonight, with just me, kitty, and the bird.....I think about life and where I'm at in it. As most know, my children are "grown". I do have my son living here still, but he has a truck and a job....need I say more? As I've said before - - my role as "Mom" is dwindling down to the very bare minimum of neccesities. I've read that by the age of 30 they want to come back to Mom's house again.....we will see! I look forward to the day when we can all be grown up friends and just simply enjoy the time spent together. :)

I read an article that my Mother In Law sent my way. It was about a Mom who, as me, was realizing her days were numbered in the Motherhood Dept. She realized she didn't know WHO she was apart from that all important role of "Mom". I too have wondered that. Moreso....maybe.....than other Moms. For you see I've been a Stay At Home Mom for over 24 years now! My God, my husband, and my children (and in that very order) have been my life....nothing more.....nothing less. In this article, the Mom begans to realize she once was a person with her own likes, desires, and so forth. So she pursues those very things again and finds happiness starting to follow.

I've heard how Mom's find "life after children" in their own ways of becoming themselves once again. To that I commend them for their achievement. If your life was one of independent goals and doings than go for it....but don't forget to bring your spouse along with you at some point! :)

But, as I examine my life and review it......I find two things. My life begins and ends with a loving God and my beautiful husband. There was no me, previous to children, to go and fulfill all that todays woman seems fulfilled with. I am first and foremost a child of God, who lives to do His will, follow His path, and share the gift He has given me. I love God with the sincereist of hearts. I will live for Him always.
 Following that - - there is my life with my David. My life never stops, never looses hope, never is meaningless with him in it. I honestly look forward to spending each and EVERY single moment with him. We never grow tired of each other. We are best friends. Our world is each other. He is truely God's gift, in the utmost sense of the word, to me.

So as my children leave this "nest" God has helped us make for them, I know I have my answer who "Who will I be when they are gone?". I will forever and always be first and foremost a child of my Lord and Saviour, who lives to please Him - - -  and I will be my David's wife and very best friend.
Nothing more....nothing less. For there is no me apart from him!

Friend, this knowledge is more than enough for me, but maybe you would wrinkle your nose up at it and say "Not for me!" Just know..... that we all find our strength and happiness and purpose in different forms. Yours may not look like mine and vice versa. But God does have a plan for you to give you life to the very fullest.....yes, even after children! So, if you are a Mom reading this and wondering as the years are dwindling down to the "empty nest".....what is there for me after this? Hold on, my friend, for the BEST is yet to come!!!! Who knows whats just around the corner?!?!

I hear traveling days and a new home are both around our corner!!!!  (Possibly)

"How Many Times Can She Jump??"

Today I was watching out my window at something I hadn't seen before. It was a Mother squirrel and her baby, about 15 feet up in a tree. I've seen squirrels plenty of times in our trees, but what she was doing caught my attention.

We have three trees relatively close to one another and the squirrels often hop from one tree to the next with such ease. They have such TRUST that they will land safely on the other side. It would appear, at times, that they look like they are literally flying! As I was watching, I began to notice the Mother was repeatedly jumping to the same tree....over and over again. She almost always would run down the tree jumped to, land on our shed, and back up once again to do the same thing again. As she would run up the tree, she would always find her baby and hug him as if to communicate with him. And then as she coaxed him to follow along, she would jump into the air landing on the next tree. The baby would only go so far and stop. You could see he was clearly hesitant, fearful and not trusting himself to make the jump. Annnd once again....Mother would travel back up the tree to begin again. She was patient. She was loving. She knew the best way. And yet the baby would not follow.

Finally, because of exhaustion and not knowing what else to do, the Mother decided to safely lead her baby down the tree, across the shed, and up the next tree. She always made sure he was with her, and when he seemed lost she would go back and reassure him once more.
At last....success! They reached their destination!
And they lived happily ever after!
The End.

Nice squirrel story huh!

But like so many times, as I was sitting there watching them, I began to wonder if there was a Blog in this episode. And I believe there is! :) Through this I believe God is sharing this one simple fact - -God is in control and His will will be done. This Mother squirrel knew she had a will and that was to get her baby safely transferred to the next tree, and NOTHING was going to stop her, not even her baby's doubts, fears, and mistrust. God also has a will, a plan, for our lives and NOTHING is going to deter, stop, or hinder His plans from being done! I believe there are many people who have the thought process that it's all about their own choices and decisions they have made as to whether or not God's will is being done. This baby squirrel clearly chose not to follow his Mother's leading to go as she was showing. But that didn't stop her plan from being done. It only served to make the journey longer instead of the shorter, straighter path they could've traveled.

I know that God is in sovereign control over every single part of our daily lives. His ways, His thoughts, even His plans seem unfamiliar to us at times. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways my ways." Isaiah 55:8. But we can trust Him still for it says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. I do believe that our choices can make the journey longer and keep us from enjoying all the many blessings God has for us. But, I also believe that God allows us to delay the journey to sharpen us, strengthen us, and mold us into more of the person He is creating us to be. In saying all of this, and hopefully in not too many words, there are times in life when we triumphantly "jump" from point A to point B in God's plans, trusting as He leads us. But, there is also those times that we stand fearfully, doubting, not trusting looking over the edge of the limb saying "God, I can't do this." As we do, He quietly continues to lead, wait, love and reassure. And sometimes, He allows us to travel the longer path taking us rather from point A, to point A 1/2, and finally to point B. All the while reassuring us of His love, "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 56:22. Also, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." Psalm 56:3.

Friend, if God has taken you to it - He will bring you through it. God sees our tomorrows before they are our todays. Trust Him. God can keep us from bad decisions and choices - but He uses them to make us into the beautiful person He designed us to be. So KNOW.....no matter what ------ God's will WILL be done. Not you, not me, not satan, not ANYONE can stop it.
And.....He will get you safely to the other side. : )

Happy Jumping!!



"What's So Encouraging About That??"

As I sit here and think and think and think some more ...... I try and come up with what God would want me to write about to inspire/encourage others. At this point....I hit a blank.

I could write about my Aunt Sandra and how her time is drawing O so near. How that she is ending a journey here on this earth, but starting a brand new journey in Heaven. But as happy as we are for her in this new life to come, there are those of us left here on earth to mourn her parting.

I could write about how that it is my second daughter's birthday this week. While most would be happy and celebrating their child's special day, we in turn are not even sure we will see or hear from her at all. She is a child who was long ago a part of our lives (which I truly miss) and now we have no contact with her. It would be hard to even imagine the sadness a mother feels in her heart over this if you have never traveled this road.

I could write about the MANY wrong directions my oldest daughter has/is travel(ed)(ing). How that our hearts have been literally broken multiple times and we have cried out to God in such despair over her. How that I continually pray for God's changes and will to be done in her. How that I pray for the right people to come/be in her life and the wrong ones to be removed.

I could write about how that my journey as a mother is winding down in great ways as my youngest son is stepping out into life as he makes his journey forward. BUT, I will NEVER give up trying to protect my children from this totally LOST world. I will NEVER stop fighting for them....no matter what!!!

But.....how encouraging are any of those things to another person reading this Blog?

The encouragement comes in. . . . in ALL of these things. . . . God gives HIS peace. I'm not talking about a special feeling or even a happiness, what I am talking about is a quiet and steadfast trust. 1.) An assurance that even though it's going to really HURT when my Aunt Sandra passes from this life to the next - - God will carry us each through it and minister in the way that each needs Him. 2.) An assurance that even though many other people are celebrating their children's presence in their life, I too one day (and I don't know when) will have my daughter back again. I pray that she will be able to receive all the love that her family has for her and know how to love in return.3.) An assurance that YES that God IS molding this oldest daughter's life, her mind, her will, her desire to match His....it's just going to have to take awhile to be seen and heard and revealed! God has a timetable that is hard to understand. My timetable says NOW is the time - God's timetable says "Wait on me. Trust in me." We've been waiting and we have been trusting a loooong time and yet.....I know we will continue. By His grace. 4.) And last but not least, an assurance that even though my small duties I've done for my children, as their mother, in their growing years, are nearing the end I still can have a positive influence in their lifes. I can still encourage. I can still pray for them. I can still be here for them....should they choose to come.

And yes....even though I do have that assurance that God is working (sight seen or unseen) and He is in control, I do still cry, I do still wonder, I do still envy others, I do still question......for I am human. But I pray that human part of me is taken over by the spiritual part, being God Himself and He victoriously carries me on....quietly waiting.....quietly trusting. God in me is what has it all together.....me without God would be a total mess.

So friend, as I've probably often said, know that WHATEVER you are facing.....in yourself, in your children, in your spouse, in your family, in your friends.....God can give you that very same assurance. Assurance to know that even if I don't see it, even if I don't hear it, even if I don't understand it, even if I don't feel it...... God is there - God is working - God is carrying - God is transforming ..... all in HIS timing. God knows your situation. God loves YOU. God is in control.....and you are not.

Be encouraged. :)

"Mother's Day. . . To Celebrate or Not To Celebrate?!"

Today. . . is Mother's Day.

This day has different meanings for any given person. There are those that are blessed, those that have hearts that are swelling with pride, those that are honored, loved and cherished, and those that are respected for the title they have. But. . . just as well there are those that are hurting, those who are disappointed, those who are longing with all that they have for God to turn the hearts of the children and see the error of their ways, those who are not respected, those who are not honored . . .  on this day.

Our pastor shared the two sides of what this day means with our congregation. He shared how that the church is there to triumph with those that triumph, but also to weep with those that weep. That's fine in and of itself, but how much MORE is the very knowledge and fact that God HIMSELF knows the very disappointment a precious mother feels and experiences with her own children?! How much more REAL to fully realize that God felt the sting of betrayal - those he loved and walked closest with turning their backs on him. God felt the ridicule of those that sneered at him and mocked him of all that he had tried to convey and to stand for. God feels the longing of wanting his own children to choose what is right and to live for him, only to see them turn their hearts and minds to the ways of this world.  I am reminded also in the story of Lazarus, his death, and the sorrow that was shared. The shortest verse in the entire Bible - "Jesus wept." why did Jesus weep when he fully knew that he would raise Lazarus from the dead and all would be restored?? Is it really sad when you know full well that you have the power to "fix" everything to make it right and whole again? Jesus felt the very human emotion in its totality. I believe he wept because he felt the very sorrow of Mary and Martha, and he shared that with them. God did NOT create beings that he canNOT relate to. He suffered. He cried. He was disappointed. He was betrayed. He had anxious anticipation that was not pleasant. He was ridiculed. He was angry. He was . . .  HURT.

Yet he loved. He forgave. He continued. He restored. He carried all the attributes of a loving Mother's heart inside his heart. He never gave up.

I know.....I have just talked about this in my last Blog. And I've probably talked about it before in previous blogs. But it's my heart I choose to share, and only God's very encouragement that I can give. Just this past week I experienced some very REAL and DEEP pain regarding my own children and have chosen some very hard but needed decisions regarding this. But. . .  as I am shown today through God's ministering to me. . .  I am NOT alone in that pain. God sees my tears, feels the frustration, knows the disappointment that I feel, feels the very heart hurting so badly inside me. And yet. . . he does NOT leave me there. I praise him with my whole heart for that for he alone carries me to better places. He restores. He comforts. He gives hope. He alone makes my world. . . .right again. I canNOT for the life of me imagine raising a family without him. Impossible.

As I was praying out my prayer window this afternoon, I saw an unusual sight - - what appeared to be 3 red balloons floating O so high into the skies. Two were always ahead of the last one. I watched until they were completely out of sight. You don't often see three seperate balloons being lost into the air.  I sat and thought about all the possibilities that could mean or symbolize. There may have been a mother, somewhere out there, who was releasing 3 balloons in honor of a child or children she had lost. Possibly a person remembering their own dear Mother who had gone on before them. Many possibilities at hand. But what it held for me was this - - I have released my children into God's very hands and he receives them. Along with that knowledge, I also want to release any and all hurts, frustrations, and disappointments too! So, it is in that being said that I choose to believe that God shows me. . . . I can let go with HIS letting go in me. The first two balloons stayed in the lead. . . not tied together. . . but always leading - they are my girls. The third balloon stayed behind but following in succession -  my Levi.

Lord, I give you my 3 red balloons. May YOUR will, YOUR purpose, and YOUR desire be met in them. Thank you for them.

Friend, whatever this day holds for you - happiness or sadness, know that God himself knows.  He celebrates and he cries with you. But know too that his perfect plan is being done. . . . in you and in your children. Keep believing.



"Two Tear Drops. . . "

Two tear drops slid down my face today in church . . . . One was named Heather and the other, Savannah.

And yet - - I keep praying.

Friend, don't give up. We see only a small pin-hole of a view. God sees and has planned out the entire picture of our lives. . . including our children's. You don't have to see results to know God is working. Most times I don't see any results....but I know He's still working. For in all things - in everything - in all ways God is bringing about HIS plans. And I don't believe for one minute - He is sitting there watching them mess up, and with His arms folded saying "You big GOOFS." What He is doing is making it all turn out for good!

Don't misinterpret me.....I get tired, I get discouraged, I cry, I get angry, I get disappointed. I even get tired of hearing how wonderfully well other people's children are doing in life!! But. . . I do cling to a God who knows. A God who cares. A God who is far more knowledgable than I am. A God who is sovereignly in control...over me, over you, and over my children. A God who has the very best for my children....in His perfect timing.

And so - - - I keep praying.

"And What Is It You May Ask That I Feel....??"

Although we have been here before......I can say both girls have moved out of our home now and we are down to just Levi!!! And what as, a mother, do I feel?? R E L I E F.

No more the task of raising a child from start to finish! No more the demands and expectations I place on myself to be the "right mother"! No more the constant questioning of WHAT are we supposed to be allowing and WHAT are we not supposed to be allowing!! No more the imaginings and questioning of where they are and what they are doing...and if they are telling the truth!! No more the wondering of how am I supposed to tell them this without sounding like a lecturer and then being met with "I'm NOT listening to you and it's going in one ear and out the other!" No more waking up to wonder will I see their car sitting outside....or not!! No more HOPING and expecting them to be in church....only to be met with an empty seat beside us!! No more messes in rooms and bathroom, dishes being undone, and eating in rooms! No more Tv's being left on unwatched and only on for noise! No more teenage drama that girls bring into your life!!

And why do I say all this??

Because I'm D O N E!!!
I can undoubtedly, completely and with full assurance say ...... these girls are in GOD'S HANDS and no longer mine!!! Yes, they ALWAYS have been in HIS hands.....but none moreso in my mind than they are as of now. And what does that bring>>>>> relief. Relief to know....God is bigger. God is in full control. God is the authority in their life. God has a will, and a plan.....and it WILL be done. Regardless of their actions or lack of....HIS will will be carried out. NOTHING will stop it!! And I wouldn't want it any other way.

One day, my friend, you too will have to let go and let God. Maybe it will be so with your own child(ren), or maybe it will be with fears, doubts and worries concerning your own life OR those you love. Regardless the circumstances, we all come to a place in our lives where we just need to stop.....let go.....and know God is on your side and will carry you through this.

You may say - Wow that was some really negative thoughts up there about your daughters! You may think that....you have that choice. But, on the flip side of the coin, it's really just a Mother bearing her honest heart with you to give you HOPE. Hope in realizing all that a Mother feels and goes through in raising a child and realizing in the end......God is all that matters.......God and God alone. He will take care of them. He will do His work in them. And regardless if I have been the role model Mother....or not.....His master plan will unfold in the time that is needed. And all will be right.

What my two daughters DO have is: my constant love, my constant prayers and my constant encouragement (all of these accepted or not).

The other day, in complete sadness, I questioned the very reason of WHY did God make me a Mother and was it not only but to hurt me. In thinking more clearly, I realize, that yes children DO hurt you, they discourage you, they anger you, they disappoint you. But, they also bring you a greater blessing that you would have never known had not God given you the gift of their life. Sometimes....you just have to look a little HARDER, and search a little LONGER.....but it's there!

Thank you God for my two daughters. It's been fun, it's been sad, it's been HARD, it's been crazy, it's been silly, it's been sweet, it's been heartbreaking, it's been emotional....it's been a journey. Have fun raising them the rest of the way.....you're definitely in for an ADVENTURE!! : )



Heather Marie and Savannah Ann





"If You Had the Chance.....Would You??"

Often I wonder. . . why do people choose to wait until someone has passed from this life to the next before they will bring about all the good things they wanted to say regarding them? Why not, while still given the opportunity, tell them what they mean to you, how their life has impacted yours? Wouldn't it be something really great if we could attend our own funerals and HEAR all the wonderful words people share about us that they never told us while we were still living?! Maybe that sounds weird....or prideful. Weird is fine....prideful, I do not wish to convey.

One thing I do know and it is this. . . each of our days here on this earth are numbered by our God who knows them. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow! So why not take the opportunity, while you still can, and share with your loved ones and friends just what they have meant to you??

As many of you know, I have an Aunt who has just recently been diagnosed with Cancer. I have had the blessing to visit with her and talk about this one on one with her. She is truly at peace with the outcome. She knows that God will heal her here on earth or he will heal her in Heaven. She is a true example of God's grace being given .....not too soon and not too late.....but just at the right time.

So with her on my mind and in my prayers, I feel God has led me to write this Blog in honor of her and what she means to me. . . .

Aunt Sandra, I will start this off by telling you what you already know - - I love you.

From the earliest memories you were the other half of my Mother. Even as a small child I can vaguely remember sometimes being confused at first glance which of you was my real Mother! You told me recently that you are and have been my second Mother and rightly so you have. My Mother and you share a bond closer than just sisters and that is to be treasured. It is something I've never had, but someday will maybe get to have when I meet my sister in Heaven! (By the way, Dan, you KNOW I love you if you're reading this!)

When I think back in time I can remember things like these:

- Waffles!!
I LOVED your waffles and there has NEVER been anyone anywhere that can even can compare to your waffles!! Saturday mornings were such a treat when we got to go to your house for breakfast! And an even bigger treat was when you would cook them for dinners too!! :)

- Spending the night at your house.
I'm sure I probably have spent many nights at your house throughout my growing up years. I can remember one such night when I was sleeping with you (Uncle Bob worked nights) and all of the sudden we heard a noise! You got up cautiously and I ducked right under the covers! As it turns out, Uncle had come home during the night unexpectedly. Whew that was scary!

- Taking walks around the neighborhood and adjoining ones.
I have always loved to walk and we had some really great walks! It was a time to share and a time of just enjoying each other. I don't remember the topics of conversation, but I'm sure we talked about everything!

- Swimming.
I can go waaaay back and remember when you and my Mother took upon yourselves to conquer my fear of water! It was at Burger Lake in Ft Worth. I had to be pretty SMALL. You both took me way out to the middle of the lake and would both say "Now...SWIM. C'mon I'm right here." I would swim from my Mother to you and back again. Only thing is - I caught on to yall's game! You kept backing up further and further apart!! Thanks for not letting me drown, Auntie! (I think.)
I remember going to your neighborhood pool, behind your house, on hot Summer days, and what FUN that was too!

- Movies and Six Flags!
As I write those two words, I have to laugh out loud! If there ever was going to be something that totally un-nerved me as a child it would be the fear of the UNKNOWN! I was and still am a person who likes to be prepared for whatever I'm about to do! And the movies and Six Flags were two places that could un-nerve me as odd as that sounds! Back in the day, we didn't have the computer to go read every detail about the movie we were about to go and see. Therefore, as a very sheltered child, I WANTED to know what was about to enter my world through the world of entertainment. I still laugh at the memory of going to see the movie "When Savannah Smiles" and repeatedly asking you "What is going to be in this movie? What's it about? What are they going to say? Will I like it?"  Haha! I can hear you now saying "DEBORAH, would you just sit back and relax?! you are going to be just fine!" ........ and I was. :)
Six Flags was the other thing that terrified me immensely!! I can remember you and Uncle Bob taking me there to have a FUN time and all I could think about was ....what is this ride? what does it do? am I going to like it? If I couldn't see a full ride it was most likely a NO-GO! I do think you two may have "coaxed' me onto some though. :)

- Going to meet you at the mall with my Mother.
I can remember Saturday mornings when my Mother would wake me up and say I'm leaving in 10 mins to meet Sandra. Get up and get dressed if you want to go. Umm....THANKS Mother for giving me so much time to get ready!! : ) We would either go to your house or meet you at the mall it seems. I can remember how it ALWAYS amazed you that I was never a person who would eat snacks...such as a cookie....nor would I drink drinks .... such as sodas....if it was in between meals. I can hear you say "Don't ya want just ONE cookie? How about a coke?" And I stuck to my guns too! :)

- O here's a good one - - DUSTING YOUR HOUSE!!
Does ANYONE really like to dust?? I think you thought I did! I can remember you sitting on the couch, while not being able to clean and saying "Hey! would you like to do something really neat?! How would you like to dust my house for me?!?!" And this dusting would include removing an entire unit of collectible golf balls on display as well as MULTIPLE knick knacks throughout to do this very job!! O the pure JOY.
(wink wink) Did you give me money for that?

- Visiting you in the hospital.
I can remember one such time when I was sitting with you. It was just me and you....don't know where the others were. You wanted to look at your cards you had received from various friends and family, so you asked me to bring them to you. As I gave them to you you began attempting to read them. Did I mention . . .you were still "slightly" drugged?! I'm laughing now as I write this!! As you began reading them out loud, your eyes would shut. You would open them and pathetically tell me "I can't see the words. I don't know what it says." You tried this a few times and always unsuccessful you would be. I found this to be very FUNNY! Oooops sorry Auntie! It made me laugh and I would tell you "You can't see the words because you keep shutting your eyes!!" Haha!  I then would lovingly take them and read them out loud to you. :)

These are just a few of the many memories I have made along the way sharing a lifetime with you!

Auntie, you have always been such a source of strength. Your life, as long as I can remember, has held alot of obstacles of health that you have patiently had to endure. Maybe there have been times of questioning God Himself as to why. Sometimes we may never know the answers to our whys, but yet we trust that EVERYTHING in this life God has allowed or given has been to mold us and make us into the very creation He desired us to be. He knows best how to use us. I'm sure your very life has touched MANY many souls throughout time! We thank God for allowing us to be a vessel for Him to use! I thank God that His grace, His love, His forgiveness, His strength has been made evident through YOU. :)

As I started this Blog out in the beginning. . . NONE of us is assured of tomorrow. We are all here for a very short time. So it is with that knowledge that I choose to tell you my dear, sweet Auntie. . . I love YOU dearly. I thank God for giving you to me as my second Mother and my own funny Auntie  - who has loved me in return with all the love in the world.

Maybe one day, should your time come before mine, I will look out my window and see a beautiful white bird soaring high and strong - knowing that it's a memory of you and the time I shared with you on this earth. :)

To all those who may be reading along - - why not take the time to reach out to someone you love and let them know what they mean to you today? I'm betting you will be glad you did! :)



"Sharing My Heart and Passion With YOU!"

As I sit here and try my very best to come up with something to share with others through writing . . . I come up blank. Maybe most would say O well today is not the day to write and be off to do something else with theirselves. Me - my passion is to write and encourage and share. . . so I wait.

In my waiting, I think back over the past days to see if there is something I could relate back to and share with you that would be encouraging and inspiring. Again. . . I come up blank.

So instead I share the passion of my heart.

And it is this.
God IS the Redeemer of our lives. The very Redeemer of our lost souls through his salvation. And. . .  the true Redeemer of his own children, through grace and forgiveness.

My friend, if you don't know the salvation he gives for you, it is free to ALL who call upon him as Lord and Savior. He will do it - just ask. But, also please know that if you are a child of God - failure, mistakes, weaknesses are NOT something you are immune to. Christians DO fall. And when they fall, God picks them up again. . . not leaving them to their own strength that fails.

God's grace is REAL. God's forgiveness is REAL. God's healing is REAL. God's rescuing is REAL. And God's resoration is REAL. I'm living proof to each of these in my life as a child of God - who has experienced failure, mistakes and weaknesses. But evenso, knowing that it is God Himself who has made beauty from the ashes, promise from despair, hope from hopelessness - - - and a light to you to give you hope. Hope to know that you may fall, but God will never leave you nor forsake you. His loving hand will lift you up, set you on a better path, cleanse you from your sins, and through him and him alone be the Healer that will set you free.

Sometimes God asks that we be patient and wait on him as he is doing all of this. It is in those times that we trust no matter what our emotions, thoughts or doubts tell us. God IS in control and he WILL see us through. I read in a devotion these words: "When we walk in difficult places, God sends the strength and nourishment to face what comes our way, not all at once, but day by day." Also, God tells us in Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

I know I have talked about this subject, probably alot, through statuses and blogs too, but it is the very heartbeat God has given me through my own personal trials and errors to share HIS deliverance with you child of God or lost sinner.

And so it is I leave with you these words: "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man (or woman) whose sin the Lord does not count against him (or her) and in whose spirit is no deceit." Psalms 32: 1-2. And one more: "From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people." Psalm 3:8.

My friend, let God be the One who brings deliverance into your life. Trust him for it!! :)

"All Because of One Special Boy. . . ."

David and I have made a decision to start working out at the gym, on a continous basis....once again. We previously were committed and for one reason or another decided to not continue. Let me say here. . . I am SO very PROUD of my David and his accomplishments!! He is working hard and his efforts are coming with results! Please pray for continued determination and motivation if he crosses your mind. :)

As for me - I am self diagnosing myself to now know it's official.....I'm allergic to exercise!! I start sneezing whenever vigorously working out on treadmill! Craziest thing ever!! So if you happen to see me wiping my nose, and my eyes, all the while sneezing....I'm not sick.....I just have a case of allergictoexercise is all. :)

Yesterday, we were at the gym working out as usual. I absolutely love the fact that they now have a row of treadmills facing AWAY from all those crazy Tv monitors! BESSST thing they ever did for that place! We were treading along when I noticed a teenage boy catch my eye. I noticed that he had physical limitations that didn't allow for him to be "normal" as if everyone else was. He appeared to have Cerebal Palsy or maybe even results from a stroke. . .one side was considerably weaker than the other. I continued to watch him throughout his workout with a trainer. He became true inspiration for me in many ways.

He was a very GOOD looking teenage boy and he dressed the part of someone his age. He would joke around with the trainer, smile often, and wave at occassional people passing by. He was happy. He was determined. And. . . he didn't let his limitations stop him. As I said earlier, there appeared to be two sides to his body - a stronger side + a weaker side - and both were worked out during his time there. The stronger side was exercised with weights, while the weaker side was simply held, pulled, and stretched by the trainer. Both sides took genuine effort by this boy himself, but the weaker side made it visibly clear . . . this was tough. His face let you see the pain and focus of his determination. All the while, the trainer continued to gently lead him through his exercises. To me this boy was the true athelete, stronger than anyone in that entire gym. The simple stretching, lifting, and following through took a physical strength that not many of us probably have. His determination even brought tears to my eyes! Not only did this boy have to deal with his physical limitations, but as he sat there and rested, a group of teenage boys casually walked by him. I had to wonder "Does he wish his life was different? Does he long to be like others without viewable limitations?" I can't really answer that question for him, but my hope is that he sees himself as someone who is greatly BLESSED and that he doesn't have to look, act, think, walk, talk like others to be who God created him to be. The boys didn't appear to have any negative effects on his countenance and he continued steadily on. As time went on, I happened to look away for what only seemed moments only to return my focus on what was now an empty workout table. It seemed as if this boy who appeared from nowhere....suddenly was gone just as quickly! It was as if he was an angel of inspiration sent right in front of me!

As I was intently watching this courageous boy with his workout, I begin to see God and our own lifes, and the similarities. To me the strong side of this boy's body represented our strengths in our life > talents, abilities and such. We usually feel pretty good about working those areas out. We have reachable confidence to get us through the "workout". But when we come to the other side of our bodies known better as the weak side, it can be a different story! Maybe the weak side could be considered of failures, temptations, worry, mistakes, fears, doubts and the list goes on. BUT! in and of all those weaknesses none are too great for our Mighty God Himself to overcome and lead us through!! Just as I saw through the powerful example of this beautiful boy in front of me! The strong side, the trainer was there if he needed him, and at times he did, but he was more confident in doing it. The weak side, the trainer was there to assist and encourage. He gently held and supported him taking the boy's arm and leading him through it. Never did the trainer just step back and say do it, with his arms folded idlely, standing by, and the boy not being able to do it. He was there to see him through it....to completion and nothing less. How wonderfully the SAME as we see God in our lives!! God knows we are perfectly imperfect....He knows we have weaknesses that seem unbearable sometimes, He knows the limitations of our humaness. And yet He never once just stands back and says "Figure it out yourself. You got yourself here, get yourself out. You wanna be strong - then do this on your own and you will be." NO!! what He does do is holds us up when we can't stand, carries us when we can't walk, listens to us when we are afraid, and . . . He leads us through it. What he does say is "I'm here for you child. Lean on me. Trust me. I know it may hurt, but I'm making you stronger because of it. I will never give up on you."

So, my friend, whenever you may feel despair because of the weaknesses that you see in your life.....KNOW that God is there with you.....holding you, supporting you, encouraging you, bringing you to a better place and seeing you through to completion. He never asks you to do it alone. Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ."

Thank you Jesus for sharing hope with me. . . through one inspiring, beautiful boy! :)

"A Funny Look at a First Experience. . .That Soon Won't be Forgotten!!"

Sooo I had my first Spa Swedish Massage the other day and O what an experience it was too!! Actually, David and I were given gift certificates at Christmas from our sweet daughter, Heather. So we went together. I was the intimidated one. . . David on the other hand was not. David had even told me he would use his this week and come back next week and use mine if I wanted him to. O no. . . not passing up on this one!

We were taken back to a couch in a semi dark room where 4 different people must have asked us if we wanted something to drink. As we sat on the couch, we were handed 3 sheets of paper to fill out. This would be a questionairre as if you were going to the doctor! GEEZ people, we're only here to cash a couple of gift cards and get a massage!! David and I were both laughing at the silliness of all these questions when he said "I think we are supposed to be whispering in here." Um....ok. So we laugh whispered.....well sorta. : P

Once back in our perspective rooms, it was explained to me what I needed to do to prepare for her. Namely undress. First she tells me to take my shirt and bra off....so i repeat it back to her.....then she looks at me to say "Well, take your jeans and shoes off too." As if I was supposed to know that already. She leaves....I undress.....quickly so she won't come back in to find me NAKED. I crawl under the covers all the while looking at the big mirror in front of me wondering what kind of hidden camera they have in it. :) Now you need to know I'm a bit NERVOUS with this whole idea already....ok! As I lay down, I realize these covers are really WARM.....I could get hot even under them....wonder what they do when people are too warm, throw back the covers to see your bare nakedness?!? As I'm laying there I notice the table looked slanted as in head down, toes up, situation. I don't normally ever lay down on my back on a flat surface (especially tilted down) because it makes me dizzy of some sort....like my legs are gonna flip over my head feeling! I sit up examing the table myself trying to figure it out, but quickly laying back down so lady wouldn't come in and see me doing so!  I'm dealing with trying to figure out if I should tell the lady  to either give me a pillow or tilt the table back up even. Telling myself.....you can handle this! Convincing myself ..... somewhat that I'm gonna be alright.....I start realizing how SMALL, DARK, and enclosed this tiny room is....as if I'm on an elevator (which I do NOT do). Now I'm also debating the thought of telling the lady to please leave the door OPEN when she comes back in assuring her that I don't care who looks in!!

As I'm retelling this story later to laughing Heather, Levi and David....Heather speaks up and says "MOM, you are supposed to be laying there relaxing before she comes in, NOT stressing out over all this!!" Sorry daughter....didn't happen!

FINALLY, she comes back. I'm retelling myself at this point that I don't need to relay any of the information to this poor woman who is here to make me feel my very best. Hmmmm......
She begins to do her thing and soon my eyes are being covered with something that has weights in it, causing the room to be totally darkened!! She had placed some kinda eye pillow weights on them....for relaxation. SURE. Now I'm not only thinking more about the claustrophobic sense, but the unsettling feeling of WHAT'S NEXT?!? I'm a person who from childhood has needed to pretty much know......what's next?! :) I kept my mouth shut, kept my eyes weighted shut, and laid there under the submission of her every move.

This whole exprience could have added a few knots to my knots she felt and told me about. She described me as being "crunchy".....not everyday you get to be that description now do ya! She is now telling me that as she holds the sheet, I'm to turn over onto stomach. As I'm turning over as QUICKLY as I could to not expose myself....I now am wondering if I will be dizzy from going to my back - tilted down - to my stomach. I do get lightheaded at times. Secondly, I've got to put my face through this donut hole. The donut hole is tilted WAY down for me. Lady says she can adjust it for me just let her know when. She went up....more up....and more up. I said stop and she asked are you alright? I agreed. I'm guessing I could have looked rather peculiar with how far I asked her to tilt it. Ha! As she is doing my backside, I began to feel like the donut hole was a littttle too high. Did I tell her?? Nope. So I laid there and thought about that for awhile. Other funny thoughts were going through my head as well though.....like when she came up to my head and I'm looking at her legs and feet, through the donut....I wondered what she would do if I suddenly pinched her! Hahaha! Yes....I'm that weird. But, no I didn't.

NOW....as I'm laying there, starting to de-stress....somewhat.....my phones starts going off. I was later told by dear daughter that you are to silence your phone upon entering. Well....sorry daughter.....again. The first 2 calls I kinda blew off thinking it's our son, Levi but hopefully he will figure out what he needs to know. The following FOUR calls as well as TEXTS and notification for my turn to play a game made for a little bit of a STRESSFUL situation!!!! I couldn't get to my phone.....the lady obviously wasn't going to ask me if I needed to stop and answer it.....nor was she going to bring it to me. If I did answer it, I would have to prop myself up exposing pretty much my entire front side. . . . so I let it ring. . . .  and she let it ring. This really un-nerved me being as though I didn't know if Levi knew we were. He was told to go to the gym after school and we would pick him up for golf from there. I didn't know if the poor kid had any clue at all to know what to do....being as though we weren't answering and he probably saw Dad's car in the parking lot.

Meanwhile. . . as I'm dealing with the phone incesantly going off. . .  an alarm starts going off throughout the entire building with flashing lights!! A lady is stating that EVERYONE throughout the building now needs to evacuate! NICE. . . .I'm told by my lady now that she is going to go out of the room and ask if it is really real and necessary for us to leave. Sooo....I'm just left to myself.....in a dark room....lying NAKED under some really WARM covers......to wonder WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON??!! I even laid there and wondered if it was my poor son who was in the emergency of some sort that was cleaing the building!! Lady comes back to now say "You need to get up, get dressed. We need to evacuate the building. I will bring you some fresh water." Fresh water?? Is that what people do under evacuation settings??!! Hey at least I had fresh water when I died!! Haha! She grabs her purse from under cabinet and leaves.

Now.....I'm QUICKLY getting up and getting dressed and all the while my phone is STILL ringing! I'm standing there trying to decide "Do I ignore the phone and get dressed BEFORE she gets back in here and sees me standing like a naked monkey.....OR.....do I fish phone out of purse and answer?? I went with "B". I missed the call .......phone rings again......I make contact! It's Levi and all i can say is "Hello....can I talk with you in a few mins....I'm trying to get dressed and get out of a massage room?!?!" he sounds hesitant and agrees. I dress so quickly that I stuff my socks in my purse by now and I'm stomping out the door in my big boots that are even bigger now without the socks! I look around thinking WHERE is this lady with the fresh water who's supposed to be telling me what to do?!?!?? I see one lady seated on couch who is obviously not worried about evacuating as she is discussing on phone with someone regarding "No, what would you do if we went on a cruise? I don't know....what would you recommend? I don't know......" Wow lady....did you not get the memo....we are evacuating here?!!! As I'm standing around unsure what to do what to think and where is my husband at?? Another lady (employee) asks me if everything is alright. I said "Well, i was with Ginger and now I don't know where she is at." Other lady opens main door and what do I see?? Ginger standing at front desk laughing it up with other employers.....obviously forgetting poor pathetic client in room AND evacuating!!! I walk on out to the front desk all the while Ginger's back is to me. As I'm standing there I begin to see HOARDS of people now coming back in through the front doors!!! WELL.....I GUESS I MISSED THE DAD GUM EVACUATION AFTERALL!!" LOL!! The cashier begins to ask me how was everything when the only motion and response I could make at this particular time was to hold out my hand and point to Ginger. I didn't know what to think or what to say....so I just pointed at her. Ginger then turns around and sees me standing there .....most likely more stressed than when I went in! She says very casually "Heeeey....so let me get you some fresh water and you can go back in where you came from and relax!" Suuuuure.....Ginger......you bring me that water and I'll just go right back in here and do me some "relaxing" that you say! Mind you I still hadn't gotten a hold of my poor son yet! So I went back in and waited like a nice good girl. I still hadn't even seen the likes of David yet as well.....wasn't he told to evacuate too???!!!! As I'm sipping my "fresh water" I tried to get Levi with no such deal. I texted him then. I did receive word back and he was alright. Later, I would find out that he had tried to call to let us know he wasn't going golfing with us and to not wait on him at gym. He got on the bus and then it was that he saw Dad's Camaro in the parking lot. He thought "O no....there waiting on me and I'm rididng the bus home!!" Soooo then it was he began to call us a grand total of at LEAST TEN times during our de-stressing, relaxing, calming moments.....the massage.

David DID finally walk out of his room with the most casualist of walks and looking rather CALM. He smiled and asked me how it was? O BOY......... did I have a story for him?!!?!!! Come to find out his lady told him that no evacuation was necessary and she continued to finish up with his massage! My lady however probably went and had a really good LAUGH at her client's position!! Ha ha ha.

I resumed my once again serence composure once we left our "relaxing" massage......YEAH RIGHT! I had a story to tell and tell I was gonna! I told David all the way to the country club where we were going to play golf for the day! I had so much to say that we had to stay in the car once we arrived so that I could finish even!! David listened.....David LAUGHED......and David shook his head. Later, I would get to retell my story once again with the audience of Heather, Levi and David (again). We had SO MANY laughs over that story and I truly believe God let it ALL happen for a purpose (just like He has with everything in life we face) ......to share a beautiful laughing and sharing moment with our children......at Mom's expense. :)

So a lesson can be learned here as well. You probably could see a LOT of what if moments going on in this story! But truly what happened were the what IS moments in fact. I didn't get dizzy, I didn't get claustrophobic, I didn't pinch the lady (heehee), Ginger never saw me standing in the room naked, no one saw me through a hidden camera (that I know of and if they did....they laughed), I didn't get too hot, I lived through the "what's next" moments, my son wasn't in an emergency, my son didn't die because he couldn't get us, and no evacuation of emergency situations were real. All my what ifs were non-existant....thank the good Lord!! Too many times we can get caught up in living in a what if world.....but you know what?? God IS IN CONTROL and will see you through any and ALL situations. Your what if's are no match for Him! Anyways.....What if's DON'T exist.....What is DOES!! Trust Him!! :)

Guess what?
I'm going back again and I know I will enjoy it so much more this time!! Please God, could you keep the alarms and my purse from going off though??!! Thanks!! :)



I'm thinking I looked about as relaxed as this big guy!! :)