"And What Is It You May Ask That I Feel....??"

Although we have been here before......I can say both girls have moved out of our home now and we are down to just Levi!!! And what as, a mother, do I feel?? R E L I E F.

No more the task of raising a child from start to finish! No more the demands and expectations I place on myself to be the "right mother"! No more the constant questioning of WHAT are we supposed to be allowing and WHAT are we not supposed to be allowing!! No more the imaginings and questioning of where they are and what they are doing...and if they are telling the truth!! No more the wondering of how am I supposed to tell them this without sounding like a lecturer and then being met with "I'm NOT listening to you and it's going in one ear and out the other!" No more waking up to wonder will I see their car sitting outside....or not!! No more HOPING and expecting them to be in church....only to be met with an empty seat beside us!! No more messes in rooms and bathroom, dishes being undone, and eating in rooms! No more Tv's being left on unwatched and only on for noise! No more teenage drama that girls bring into your life!!

And why do I say all this??

Because I'm D O N E!!!
I can undoubtedly, completely and with full assurance say ...... these girls are in GOD'S HANDS and no longer mine!!! Yes, they ALWAYS have been in HIS hands.....but none moreso in my mind than they are as of now. And what does that bring>>>>> relief. Relief to know....God is bigger. God is in full control. God is the authority in their life. God has a will, and a plan.....and it WILL be done. Regardless of their actions or lack of....HIS will will be carried out. NOTHING will stop it!! And I wouldn't want it any other way.

One day, my friend, you too will have to let go and let God. Maybe it will be so with your own child(ren), or maybe it will be with fears, doubts and worries concerning your own life OR those you love. Regardless the circumstances, we all come to a place in our lives where we just need to stop.....let go.....and know God is on your side and will carry you through this.

You may say - Wow that was some really negative thoughts up there about your daughters! You may think that....you have that choice. But, on the flip side of the coin, it's really just a Mother bearing her honest heart with you to give you HOPE. Hope in realizing all that a Mother feels and goes through in raising a child and realizing in the end......God is all that matters.......God and God alone. He will take care of them. He will do His work in them. And regardless if I have been the role model Mother....or not.....His master plan will unfold in the time that is needed. And all will be right.

What my two daughters DO have is: my constant love, my constant prayers and my constant encouragement (all of these accepted or not).

The other day, in complete sadness, I questioned the very reason of WHY did God make me a Mother and was it not only but to hurt me. In thinking more clearly, I realize, that yes children DO hurt you, they discourage you, they anger you, they disappoint you. But, they also bring you a greater blessing that you would have never known had not God given you the gift of their life. Sometimes....you just have to look a little HARDER, and search a little LONGER.....but it's there!

Thank you God for my two daughters. It's been fun, it's been sad, it's been HARD, it's been crazy, it's been silly, it's been sweet, it's been heartbreaking, it's been emotional....it's been a journey. Have fun raising them the rest of the way.....you're definitely in for an ADVENTURE!! : )



Heather Marie and Savannah Ann