"Not Yet....But I Know Where My Hope Is!"

It's been two months since my last Blog. I have so wanted to write, but just haven't felt led or inspired in knowing what to share with you my readers. Today, as I was walking and listening to my music, I finally felt led once again to have something to share. I thank God in every way for that, for I do not write this Blog or any Blogs without Him.

You see though. . . I feel a little confused because I've shared this topic - HOPE - before. . . in fact many times. For that IS what my story and life is all about - HOPE. I even look back and 2 years, almost exact, I was sharing this very subject - HOPE- in an in depth way. But, I believe God is saying "Tell it again. People need hope." And so it is that I continue to share my story of HOPE........

Not quite sure knowing where to dive into this story, I will just begin with this -
We have a child that is living their life in some very real sin. I will not disclose by name nor gender, for I do not wish to slander any of my children. Should you choose to try and guess which one or judge them that is between you and God to deal with. This child is in full knowledge of the sin they are choosing to participate in because, if for no other reason, their Dad and I have made it directly aware to them. This child chooses, with all knowledge of sin, to fully continue on seemingly having no regrets whatsoever. I, myself, have even made it quite clear that they can and will bring God's judgement and wrath on them should they desire to continue on. To my utter disbelief and amazement it seems to affect them none whatsoever. I shake my head at this very fact for as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult myself I could NOT even begin to perceive heading on knowing that fact!! If for no other reason just knowing God can and most likely will do something dreadful!! Where is the reverent fear in our children today??

As I once again, last night, discussed this situation of living in sin to this child it was met with statements such as these "I know YOU feel this is wrong, it goes against what YOU think is right, it makes YOU sad...." I stopped the child and said "This has absolutely nothing to do with me! This is God Himself saying this is wrong and not to continue on. It's very plain in the Bible and I can show you." And of course the child wanted nothing to do with what was said in the Bible....sadly. And so it continued on with the same theme....I know YOU feel this is wrong.....  At one point I was even met with I was using God as a "cop out" to say what I wanted to share with them. This child wasn't believing that God would share with me to share with them of the sin they are choosing to willfully live in! How very sad. I very lovingly and calmly told my child that I love them, that is why I share these things, and I don't want to see them bring the very judgement of God on their life. It is very clear in the Bible that a child of God cannot and will not go on sinning willfully. I was met with love in return, but also a very sure and absolute that this child was not in anyway changing nor turning from their wrong and willfull ways. They were happy with life and that was that. How fast this child forgets all the troubles - emotionally, physically, and spiritually that they have been dealing with.

I could go on. . . .
But does that really help to know all the disappointments? I shared with you what I did only to let you see some of the pain that is there and how real it is. These things do indeed give this Mother's heart a heavy and sad one for my child.

As I talked with my David, last night, of all that was said and shared with this child it of course saddened him...even to the point of tears in his eyes (I do not share that lightly with you....know that). We talked about the frustration of not knowing what our part is....what course of action to take if there is one.....how to keep showing love, but all the while NOT showing acceptance of choices made. So many things to think about, wonder WHY about, wonder how long will we be waiting for things to get right....when it has seemed so long already.

But remember - - this is a Blog of HOPE!!

Towards the end of our conversation, I was sharing another dear Mother's testimony of her children and how far they had came in their lives. I then asked David "Their is hope....right? I mean that day is coming....right? We've waited so long surely it's coming....right?" And my faith filled and steadily trusting husband replied with "I don't know if and when that day will come. But our hope is NOT in the fact of hoping our children will one day wake up and make the right decisions. One day start living a life that is pleasing to God. Our hope is..... in God." Ok, I paraphrased some there....he's not a man of many words, but that was his true meaning. We doNOT hope in our children, but we DO hope in our God. And just as I've said before many times.....His plans don't have to look like, sound like, feel like, or even smell like what we think they should. God is God and His knowledge fars outweighs our very teeny tiny own. He is trustworthy even when it's hard to trust. He is faithful even when we are not. He is constant even when much of life isn't.

As I said earlier, I was walking and listening to my music.....the very first song that was played as soon as I turned it on was "My Hope is in You" by Aaron Shust! How awesome is that!! For it wasn't a song about my hope is in my children, in my husband, in my {insert whatever}, but my hope IS in you (God and God alone!).
My hope is in You Lord
All the day long
I won't be shaken by drought or storm
The peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing
My hope is in You alone
I will wait on You
You are my refuge
One other song of encouragement I share with you are the words. . .

Even when it hurts
Even when it’s hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
‘Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul, Healer of my scars,
You steady my heart, You steady my heart

I’m not gonna worry
I know that You’ve got me
Right inside the palm of Your hand
Each and every moment
What’s good and what gets broken
Happens just the way You plan

And I will run to You
I’ll find refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
‘Cause of everything You are
You steady my heart

Friend, I know there is hope and it's real. God has delivered me from some very real sin in the past. And this I know is true..... God and God alone was the very One to do it. If you ever should wonder if God can truly deliver, go and read Psalm 34....He will tell you not once but FOUR times of His deliverance in your life! Trust Him. Hope is real.

And so it is with this that I end this Blog......I do not wait on my child to see the error of their ways and turn from their willfull sins, but rather I wait on God and God alone to deliver - in His time and in His way.

Thanks for reading. :)