"Being My Mother"

There is a lady in my life that has a special place in my heart that no other human being has and I call her. . . my Mother. And it is with that opening that I dedicate this Blog simply to her.



My Mother became my Mother on the very first day of May in the year of 1966. She was 26. . . I was 0. She loved me, cared for me, nurtured me just as any loving Mother would. She had many previous jobs before I entered her world. But she would give that all up and not return to work until I was 12 years old. And even then it was as if she was still right there with me, for she would become a teacher teaching at the very same private school I attended. Yes, it just so happens that she would become MY teacher as well. So, she was never far from me.

As I was a young girl I self titled myself as a "Daddy's girl" and rightly so I was. But who would so gently lead me in the prayer of salvation at the tender age of 5. . . my Mother. Who would be there to come and talk my way out of each and every problem I ever had. . . my Mother. Who would discipline me when it was needed . . . my Mother. Who would wrap their arms of love around me and squeeze me each and every morning. . . my Mother. Who would encourage me to be the best God had made me to be. . . .my Mother. Who has and to this day still makes SURE that I know I'm loved, forgiven, needed, cherished, enjoyed. . . my Mother. And who, to this day, is my 2nd very best friend who is always and forever there to help me, guide me, encourage me and love me. . . my Mother.

You see my Mother loves me unconditionally. . . she always has and I know she always will. That kind of love comes from God Himself and I am so thankful. As much as some may think, I was not a perfect child!  Nor have I been a perfect adult. But through the heartaches, the tears, the frustrations her loves keeps shining and her heart keeps smiling. . . and I honestly couldn't imagine life any other way. I know that I am deeply and graciously blessed for not all others have this love in their lives.

I sincerely thank God for the time that He has given my Mother to be here on this earth and I DO pray with utmost sincerity that He continues to extend it. When I think about living on this earth without my sweet Mother on it and knowing that she is just a phone call away, a text away, a drive away, it brings real sadness and literal tears run down my face if I let them. I have a very dear friend on FB who has lost not only her Mom, but also her Dad . I know there is sadness and a place in her heart that longs for them. My heart goes out to her. She is such a strong and positive lady. I pray that if and when that day should ever come (though I've often, growing up, just told God He could wait and just come get us all at once: Rapture) that God would give me the strength and positive heart to keep keepin on. I know without a doubt that God meets our EVERY need, so I will trust in Him.

As an adult, my Mother has been right there every single step of the way as I raise my own children. She feels every hurt, every frustration, every concern. She is there to cheer me on to keep loving my children even when they are simply UN-lovable. She encourages me to know that this too shall P A S S. It is so true that when you become a mother yourself you realize so much of what your own Mother went through and how very grateful she stood by you all through the years!! My Mother believes the best, hopes for the best and sees the best for her grandchildren. She never, never gives up. For her faith and her hope in God and God alone. He is able to do that which is impossible. . . and she knows it!

I thank God for the godly Mother He has placed in my life. Her wisdom is priceless. Her love is rich. Her character is noble. Her heart is here to give itself away.

I have often wanted and prayed to have the wisdom that my Mother has when it comes to dealing with my own children. She has always seemed to have the right words when needed. But as few, as futile,and as uneffective as my words seem. . . I know that God can take them and use them still.

I know that there may come a day when I can no longer reach out and express my GREAT love and appreciation to you my Mother. . . so it is with these words that I give my heart in saying. . . I love YOU. You have made me proud to call you - - - my Mother. :)

I find my Mother in these verses: "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Proverbs 31:28-29

And for all you who may be reading this and were in my Mother's Home-Ec class. . . who can possibly forget this verse! "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." :)) Proverbs 31: 30




My Mother. <3





"No Time For Worry!!"

As I sit here and wonder what to share with you today, I feel God may be leading me to this subject. . . Worry.

My friend, simply put,  life is far too SHORT for such a word as this in our life! We are never guaranteed tomorrow. In that thinking. . . do you want to spend your last moments here on earth worrying? A sweet friend sent me an email and near the end it stated "Don't waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be." And to that I add - "or what was".  Our life is but a vapor here on earth and we were made for SO much more!

God gives us freedom, hope, deliverance! God gives us promises: He forgives, He never leaves us, He is sovereign, He guides, He protects, He rescues, and He is more powerful than worry in our lives! This topic normally would be a hard one to share with you. . . for I have felt it's stronghold in my life. I have even worried that I worry as crazy as that sounds. Afterall, isn't it written down in the by-laws of being a "Christian" that you don't worry because all peace and faith abounds to you?? I'm here to tell you in my words......un-true > for Christians do indeed tend to be pulled towards the very human characteristic of worry throughout their life. It's what they DO with the worry that separates them from the world, I believe. As children of God we have hope and we have trust. . . 2 things that we can turn to in our time of need. When we worry we know that we can turn to God and ask with hope that He would help us through this worry, giving it to Him, and trusting Him to see us through. Sometimes we, as humans, need to come more than once..twice...or more seeking this from God and giving it to Him.....it doesn't mean YOU can't get it right.....just means you are HUMAN and are not perfectly perfect.

I read a quote on FB that went something like this: "to beat the darkness out there, you must first beat the darkness inside yourself!" You know what???? God doesn't ask us to be the strong man/woman and "beat" things inside ourselves!! There are things like WORRY that creep up to steal our joy away and at the very darndest best we try ourselves to dispel it and rid it out of our lives and we find we just CAN'T!
THAT my friend, is when God says I AM able!! There is nothing, including worry, that God cannot take care of in your life. 2 Cor. 9:8 says "And God is ABLE to make all grace abound to you, so that in ALL things at ALL times, having ALL that you need, you will abound in every good work." If our need is to be free from worry and God says that you will have ALL that you need.....than you can trust Him to take care of that. It doesn't rest on on our shoulders, my friend. Let God take care of that which you cannot! Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet ALL your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Mark 10:27 even assures us that "With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God ALL things are possible."

Just as sure as we know God can and does take care of that which we cannot - sometimes it requires time. Time to heal, time to learn more of trusting Him, time to simply just ....wait. But just as sure as He is God we can trust that He does know that need and will take care of it! Trust Him!

Christians like to talk alot about the word "peace" too! And I truly sometimes get stuck on that word!! I wonder "If I'm a Christian....then why don't I fill peace?" Ah-hah!! as I stop myself and remember because peace is NOT a feeling, but it is a knowing....a knowing that no matter what I may feel or what I may not feel....God is in complete control!!! That is the difference I believe between what the world has and what we have as born again believers......a knowledge that no matter what we are facing God will see us through!! That is why I can believe that although I do not see with my physical eyes, that which I hope for, I know that with my Heavenly Father taking care of it ....it is well. That is peace! And disappointment is NOT the lack of peace......what it is is a normal human response to our limited view.....nothing more.
So don't let this whole peace thing get you down and confused!!

A very good worry verse is 2 Cor. 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Don't get caught up in what you do see for God is working behind the scenes and very well could be preparing your life for something really GREAT! I must remind myself of this when looking at my life and my childrens' lives!!

In our weakness (worry) God says "My grace is sufficient for YOU, my power is made perfect in weakness." Christ's power rests on you when you are weak! What else could we possibly ask for?? His all surpassing power rests on us and we need not muster up our own pathetic strength to conquer that which we cannot!

I have heard the term worry is symbolized like this: Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. So, my friend, if you have worry in your life and don't know what to do . . .Give it to God. Let Him do for you that which you cannot. Trust in His sovereignty. Wait on Him. And in the meantime - - go rejoicing and shining for Him - no matter what. :)

I leave you with this! 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast ALL your anxiety/worry on Him because He cares for YOU."



"It Did Happen. . . 20 Years Ago!"

This past week marked a significant time that dates back 20 years ago. The people involved were me, David, Heather and Savannah. Of course there was no Levi yet. It was a difficult time and a sad time unlike any other I had experienced previously. . . But it was a necessary time.

You see. . .  it was a time when my David left us.

Now take your hand and use it to push your gaping mouth shut.

For this was a time of separation that would end permanently in approximately three months. Though it was only three, they would seem forever and undendingly LONG. In fact, I gratefully respect all women who are left to be without their husbands for whatever reasons for it is something I wish never to revisit. Anyone who knows me well knows that David and I were created to walk the face of this earth. . . . together. . . no other way. Now for all of you who may be wondering what in the world could have happened to cause this separation, I will tell you. Simply put - David joined the astute world of Air Traffic Control. This in turn would require him to pack up and leave his family for the measure of said three months. He would live in an apartment, supplemented by the FAA, in Oklahoma City. It was clearly put that no family whatsoever was to join him and evenso was highly recommended that family not visit as well. To which I say is RIDICULOUS, but no one asked me, so I go on with my story. . . .

I am sharing a very special picture with you. It is one that has become a favorite for in all it's pathetic looking ways it's one of a young mother, with her babies, uncertain of the days ahead but yet trusting God to see her through.

(This was taken the day of or week of David's departure. We are patiently waiting Grandma and Grandpa to come and visit us for some company. They pulled up and this was the sight they saw sitting on the driveway.)

This past week I texted Heather and told her what this time represented 20 years ago to which she lovingly replies "Wow your weird." Not quite the words I was seeking, but then again, that's my Heather. Can't say that I blame her much though, afterall. . . she was only 3 years old. Savannah had just turned 4 months if you were wondering too. 

Today I look back and try to remember just HOW did I make it during that time?!?! I feel like I do good today just to busy myself enough to make it through the short time David is at work now! I know that it is always the same answer that I find in looking back and wondering how we endured each circumstance of what God would bring our way and that is. . . . God Himself . I believe, for the most part, God helped me to just take one day at a time. . . even when I would look at the clock on the wall and see it saying just 6:00 in the evening wondering to myself will this day ever end?? And .... it did.

It was a time of growing up too. Although I'm NOT nearly as young as I look in that picture, I'm sure I still needed God to show me the independence I must have learned at some point in time. You see, I went straight from my parent's home at 21 to my married home. There was no college life, single life, living on my own kinda stuff in this girl's life. So this part of life was very well ALL new. I will proudly tell you that I lived on my own with my 2 girls for a grand total of 5 weeks. . . and then I became sick. To me those 5 weeks were an accomplishment in every way. . . even through the tears when my Heather was so sick that she wouldn't eat or drink and as my parents came over to check on her I just sat and cried my heart out telling them I wasn't made to do this without my David. At 5 weeks though my sickness was too much for me to handle while trying to take care of 2 babies. I was running alot of fever, so my Dad graciously drove from the town of Irving to Arlington so that I could have their help. I was very sick and this was be a burden lifted indeed. I would live with them for approximately 4 weeks. As anyone knows, it's never easy going back home nor is it easy receiving your child along with her 2 children as well. But, they were my God sent and together. . . we would make it through.

Another God sent was my Mother In Law and Sister In Law who would take me to see my David, along with our 2 girls, on one such weekend. And YES we went.....no amount of "suggested and recommended" rules was going to keep me away any longer!! In fact, I remember now. . .during the latter part of his time there we were "allowed" to come and even stay there for 3 weeks. I was feeling WHOLE again. . . . I do know that!! My David was by my side. . . when he could be that is.

I'm sure trust, as mentioned above regarding the picture, was something that increased not only in our spiritual lives, but in our physical ones too. God was faithful. . . yes.. . and He would see us through. . . just as He had seen us through our second pregnancy with Savannah. David got laid off from work a total of 10 months during that unknowing time. We just always knew God would provide. But we would also have to learn to trust in the faithfulness of one another being so very far apart. It wasn't easy sometimes, but yet again, God was there to help us. 

After our time of endurement was up, we would learn the next news that would forever change our world. It was then that I received a phone call from my husband asking me simply the question, "What do you think about Houston?" I'm sure I must of conceived it as some kind of joke, but nonetheless.....it wasn't. So, once again we would take that step of faith as God would choose to move us forever away from all that we would know - family, friends, and our hometown. For all who know, leaving all that you know and love is never easy. And all those who don't know what a BLESSING you have to live near your family I will be the first to tell you.....YOU are blessed!! I seriously doubt we will ever live by our family again - but God has His reasons though not always understandable ones. Now Mother put a smile back on your face while you're reading this. . . . count your blessings!! There's a plenty! :)  

God brought us on our journey and He never once left our side. Houston as we know it is home. As I look back and try to think back through the sum total of 20 years I realize two things. 1. It's a loooong time, but goes by Oooo so quickly in the reality of life. 2. We would never in a million years dream up some of the things God has allowed and taken us through!! And this simple story is very small in comparison to which I'm talking about. But in all this stuff we call living. . . . we have, we do, and we will continue to learn of God's faithfulness and His trustworthiness through it ALL.

And guess what?? We survived!!

Twenty years later....and here we are!! :)



"When God Brings a Distant Child Back to Your Life!"



Last night I re-read my status from FB and. . . I am grateful. When I was searching for inspiration to share on FB, I had no idea it would connect with the blessings that I am shairng with you. But now I see it does and that makes me happy! Happy that God turns it around and shows me a blessing from the words I carefully seek to share with my FB friends! The status I speak of is this: Believe God IS working in your life. . . even when you don't feel it or see it! Sometimes it's one small step at a time, a gradual improvement, a gradual change. God's timetable is rarely the same as ours. Remember that God is never in a hurry, BUT He is always on time. Be patient . . . don't get discouraged! Remember how far you've come. . not just how far you have to go! You may not be where you wanna be, but neither are you where you used to be!! :)

Without going into a long drawn out and full detailed story. . . I will tell you that we have had a distant child in our family and God is bringing her back to us in HIS time! The distance has not been made up in miles, but rather in relationships with each of us. Somewhere . . . sometime. . . walls must have been placed. . . . barriers that none of us seemed to be able to penetrate. Love seemed to be no longer received or given, touch was prohibited and communication was very little when and if given. In fact this child chose to stop living in our home sometime during her high school years. It felt and appeared as if another family became her family as she chose to do everything with them. These times were HARD....they HURT.....I wanted desperately to reach out to my child, to hold her, hug her, love her and be the mother that I once had been to her. But just as it was hard. . . . I knew I had to do only what I could do. WAIT. Love her unconditionally. Pray. TRUST in a God that changes hearts, wills and desires. And be here for her . . . . always.

This child went away to college in another town. Upon leaving she packed all of her stuff all by herself and loaded it by herself. . . leaving by herself......for this was the way she wanted it. None of the normal stuff which would be taking your child to college, making sure she is settled in, tearful goodbyes, promises of phone calls every week.....just bye and she was - - gone. We did get a visit or two sometimes when she would come back to see friends and we would unexpectedly find out she was now in town. We even went there ourselves to visit a time or two and things would be civil, but never close.

At some point this child stopped attending college. We would later learn of it. She was fearful of our reactions to her news. God gave David and I both the love in our hearts to welcome her back home with open arms. . . that would be met with no hugs. I know that ALL things happen for a reason. For those who are God's, they happen for a GOOD reason. . . even when we don't see it, feel it, think it. . . He IS working -hence the FB status. For it has been during this time of her choosing to live, once again under the same roof, with the family that loves her, that God is working and we are seeing! I will share with you that it has NOT been a bump-less road. No, if anything, BIG bumps have been there. But, as I stop and observe through this time. . . .God is working His miracles of softening hearts. . . and it feels O-SO good!!!

There are more blessings of laughter and smiles to name one such miracle!! Laughter with sisters....laughter with brother.....laughter with Dad (Yeah, I know...everyone thinks DAD is funny), and laughter with Mom. Laughter and smiles with Mom is priceless, for I cannot even begin to describe to you what that means to this mother. There are no words to explain....even for a wordy person like me.

There is communication to name another miracle!! Times of enjoyed and wanted communication makes this Mom sit here and shake her head at the very awesomeness of it all! Communication with sisters, communication with brother, communication with Dad (although DAD is a limited communicator), and communication with Mom. You have to know that Mom and this child have had very limited communication, in years gone by, for it has had it's strain upon it making it very difficult. So when I say communication with MOM....I'm talking BIG "Thank ya Jesus!!" moments.

There are moments of this child telling me little things about myself through the years that I have forgotten about or thought nothing of. Little things such as how I do things, did things. This tells me she has watched me, thought about me, letting little things about her mother make a memory in her heart. And all this time I thought I was regarded as someone, in her mind, not to even give the time to think about. Maybe....just maybe....I have meant more to her than both she and I realized. :)

For the most part the responsibilty parts are falling into place as well. Details un-needed here.

Another miracle?? Yes!!
God has moved her to another job location allowing her to be OFF on Sundays!! She dropped out of going to any church whatsoever sometime ago. This concerned me greatly, but at the same time, I knew there was nothing I could do in and of myself. God knew. God would take care of it. Although she has not worked for some Sundays now and had her excuses, she told me this past one "I didn't know what time church started...and you didn't wake me up like you used to do." Thank ya Jesus! So even though she has not made the actual presence of attending church again, I believe it will happen....just as I believe that God is and will work in her heart to draw her closer to Him.

So as I reflect once again on my FB status, I see just how much we all fit in this. Believe God IS working in your life. . . even when you don't feel it or see it! Sometimes it's one small step at a time, a gradual improvement, a gradual change. God's timetable is rarely the same as ours. Remember that God is never in a hurry, BUT He is always on time. Be patient . . . don't get discouraged! Remember how far you've come. . not just how far you have to go! You may not be where you wanna be, but neither are you where you used to be!! :)  Although we haven't arrived yet and have yet farther to go.....and yes hugs are still "gross".....we know WHO holds us together and thank the Lord.....we aren't where we used to be!!!

"When God wants to make a mushroom, He does it overnight, but when He wants to make a giant oak tree, He takes a hundred years. Great souls are grown through struggles and storms and seasons of suffering. We can be patient through the process. Overtime, a slow, steady stream of water will erode the hardest rock and turn giant boulders into pebbles. And overtime, a little sprout can turn into a giant redwood tree towering 350 feet tall!"

Have HOPE my friend.....for God surely IS working.....even when we can't see it, feel it, or hear it. Wait on Him. :)