"If you read no other story - please read this one. It comes straight from the heart"

First, let me say that this posting is a very real part of me being shared with you. It is seriously shared from my heart and I hope that you will receive it in the way God would want you to. I am a very honest, open and a real person to those I share with...not everyone can do that. I truly believe though that if I can share something in my life, no matter what, that I have experienced, then God can take it and reach whoever He chooses to bring hope, healing, encouragement, trust or whatever they may be searching for. That is exactly what I am praying this posting will do. I truly want Him to receive all glory, honor and praises and me to just be a vessel He can use to shine for Him.

Second, I want to shout "HOPE IS HERE!!" Jesus truly does save! There is freedom and EVERY debt has been paid - past, present and future! Jesus heals, He restores and He rescues!! :) "I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and rescue you."

Now on with the story. . .

As we know everybody falls sometimes. Sin is always present in our life for we are human. Rom. 3:10 assures us of that - "There is no one righteous, not even one." Also, Rom. 3:23 "For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." These verses are not just applied to the unsaved and ungodly, but as to christians as well. At times in our life we let that sin become a little too dominant and it begins to take over in ways we never expected. Sin always always starts off small and innocent, but if left unchecked, it begins to grow and soon turns into something out of control. In knowing that we should desire to "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith..." I Peter 5:8. I will share with you now that for about 6 months last year....I fell into some very real sin in my life....not that I'm saying I didn't sin before that nor do I sin now....that isn't the case. No, I became a person that I did not recognize in the least. I will most assuredly smilingly tell you that I am NOT that person anymore, nor will I ever be again, by God's mercy and grace!!! :)) << sidenote. Sin is very real though and not something to be taken lightly. I could specifically name the sin(s) that I fell into, but I don't think that has any real value to my story. Sin is sin...no matter the name. I'm not afraid of your accusations, your analyzing, critical thoughts of me, or even IF you would forgive me if you knew. I can't say I've always felt that way, but God is healing me, and HE alone is my judge. James 4:12 "There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One Who is able to save, and destroy. But you - who are you to judge your neighbor?" And guess what?!? My judge says it's FORGIVEN and erased! Rev. 1:5b "To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by His blood." Like the writing from the airplane that is skywriting that simply disappears, Jesus has wiped away ALL things I so bitterly regret. Jesus does have an eraser! Rom. 8:1a "Therefore, there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." So, if you choose to see me through a negative light that my friend is between you and God....but I will not fear it. I know that I'm forgiven by the One Who matters as well as those I have deeply hurt....and that's all that matters.

Just always know that none of us are too good not to slip at times. I have lived my ENTIRE life knowing and living for God for I was saved at the age of 5. I know nothing before 5, so it's as if I've known God all my days. My most rebellious days that I can even remember would probably accumulate to something like this: me jumping on the bed and climbing out the car window PROVING to the missionary ladies that came to stay with us that I was in NO WAY whatsoever a good girl! HAHA! My mother on the other hand was wondering WHAT has gotten into this child?! As I got older there was a time that me and Stephanie Spradlin walked to Ty Hartis' apartment after school because we were both "in love" with him. Umm...yeah.... And then one night we decided to get really BRAVE, or really stupid whichever you choose, and climbed out her window to attempt to walk down Finley, no less, to his apartment once again. Let's just say we got out the window and back in again because we heard her parents coming. She got in LOTS of trouble whereas I on the other hand did not. :)) And yes they were sure to tell my Mom...she just gave me the silent treatment on the way home. Heehee! I was a good kid....no doubt about it. I won't say there was not any other mistakes along the way, because I'm far from perfect. But, what I do want you to understand is that sin happens to the very best of us...it doesn't just wait for the backslidden and ungodly to prey upon.

I will tell you now that, in you knowing that I fell deeply, God Himself has given me strength to rise from the ashes of my mistakes and He has allowed me to make a new beginning! I truly, firmly, honestly believe without a doubt that God did not promote what happened in my life, BUT He certainly allowed it....and there was a purpose. Sin promoted it, God allowed it....and I can praise Him now that He has. As well, that hasn't always been the case. This year has been a very TOUGH one indeed in many personal ways for me. I have had to deal with some very real fears, forgiving myself, and learning to trust. I know our biggest enemy is our mind, so I just go ahead and tell God "here I don't need this thing today, YOU take it".....who needs a mind anyways?!! :) I know that Jesus is the One saving me and I don't have to prove a thing! He has also provided me with such AMAZING, wonderful and true love throughout this time. I am beyond blessed! There are many who have encouraged me maybe without even knowing you did....may have been YOU. And I thank God for you. But, He has also placed some extraordinary loved ones in my life to most certainly help me along. . . that would be my David and my Mom. I know why God has placed them lovingly in my life and He has never made it so clear than through this experience in my life! There are no words to describe what love and patience they have shown me. Their love has been the soothing love of God in my life for sure.

Great strength can come from struggles and we can see obstacles as stepping stones placed in our life's leading us towards becoming more like God. I know for a fact that there is a purpose and design to my life and God has intentionally allowed ALL things - good and bad - into it for a reason. He uses the shadows of my life to make it richer. "God, our great Artist, uses a multitude of techniques in our life to help us become the people He created us to be. God keeps the water lilies afloat through the wind and rain that are part of life. Water gardens survive April showers and worse, and I will too, by God's help and grace!" We know Rom. 8:28 ALWAYS stand true in ALL matters of life as well. "And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

I share all of this with you, my friend, for one purpose....to give you joy, to give you hope, to give you strength, to give you trust if you are one who has slipped and fell along the way. Or even if you have not....there is still joy, hope, strength and trust in a faithful God. Don't focus on your doubts and failures, God is greater than those. Don't allow your past mistakes to keep you beaten down and discouraged. Don't allow the deceiver<satan to use his best tool discouragement to convince you are unworthy. Philippians 3:13b "Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead." Because He is near, we need not be anxious for anything. We are restored and renewed in Christ Jesus and with that restoration we become, once again, fresh, vibrant and alive Christians! Those who hope in God will NOT be disappointed!

Have hope, my friend!

"Thank you, Jesus, for your power in every part of my life today - renewing me physically, mentally and spiritually!!" :)

And thank you too for allowing me to be so very real with you. Maybe it's not like others to do this, but I am me. And I pray dearly that God uses something in me to reach something in you....dear friend. :)

God always has the plan in all things. Never stop believing....even when you don't see!

Please if you would...pray for me as God continues His journey of healing and restoring me....I would greatly appreciate it! Although these things have been done in my life we still go on needing it always. Thanks!

"Busy....or not."

Well, I had an entire blog almost finished up yesterday and ready to publish, but then something you don't want to happen...happened.....I lost the entire story.....many thoughts and words. But, I do always pray "God, please use me to share whatever it is you would have me to share." and I am sure to know that He can use it or He can stop it and point me in another direction. Guess it was pretty clear then....go another direction....or maybe another day. :)

Maybe today God wants to use me rather in this direction.

There are times when I get on FB and it's seems to be so easy to fall into the trap of envy, coveting, jealousy...call it what you will. Maybe no other person has this perception as I do....but I bet if I searched the entire population of FB world I would come up with a few. :)
Let me try to be a little more clear with where I'm going with this. My envy is NOT in materalistic things and what you may have acquired in this lifetime....honestly speaking and I always do.....I could not care less what you may have. I'm quite satisfied and complete with all things I have materialistically speaking. Rather, it comes moreso in comparison of how you live your life, how your children live their life, or even how you relate to the social life part of living. At times, I read how people will post just how busy their life is...going here, going there, doing this, doing that and then ending with the phrase "Life is good!" It's as if to me they are saying "I'm busy...therefore Life is good!" or maybe they have children who walk an exemplary life, therefore they are blessed or they have an active social life that keeps them entertaining or being entertained by others....therefore once again....they are blessed. First, PLEASE let me say something....I'm in no way whatsoever saying you are wrong in any way by posting these thoughts and believing you are blessed....because you are! Most certainly you are!

Where I want you to see and what I need to remind myself to see is.....even though my life may not be the busiest in the world (in fact I ample amounts of time usually), my children may not walk that "exemplary life" yours does, and while David and I may not have acquired the social life you live.....I am still very blessed as well. :) In fact, I'm so amazingly blessed I'll probably never understand just how much until I get to Heaven. God has given me a life that is full of blessings everywhere and as my sweet husband and wonderful mom do remind me to stop and take a moment to count them.

I know that ultimately I find my purpose and blessings in God. He is intimately involved with me as well you and works out HIS purpose in each of us. In Philippians 1:6 it says, "Being confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." It is important that we tell ourselves daily, "I find my personhood in the Lord Jesus and NOT in other people, not in success, relationships, or even ideal circumstances" only in Him and through Him. I also read in my devotions: "However humble our circumstances or undramatic our talents, our true purpose has been revealed. We were meant to be this person at this time and place. Not only for ourselves, but for you and other people - we were meant to make this particular contribution to the world." Whether it be small - whether it be big - God knows and God can use. "And so we must do it with faith and patience, with all our strength and passion. And in so doing, discover who we really are."
We are to "Set your mind on things above, and not on earthly things." Col. 3:2 So, see it doesn't matter if my life looks like your life or vice versa, for we are not here to compare earthly matters, but rather to focus on what really matters....and that is to be a vessel God can use however He chooses.

One last verse to share....I hope I haven't lost you! :)
"But godliness with contentment is great gain." May you and I both have or ask God to give us that contentment He gladly gives.

So, preaching to myself, it really does NOT matter how busy or unbusy life is ....... what does matter is THAT LIFE TRULY IS GOOD in all walks of life!! :))

Remember.....always rejoice in the Lord and to be content....whatever the circumstances of life you are in. He is sovereignly in control....yesterday, today as well as tomorrow.

Thanks once again for allowing me to share some of me with you. Be blessed my friend! :)

My daughter thinks I'm Amish

Hmmm....I must be doing SOMETHING right when my daughter thinks I'm Amish! :P
This response from her comes in a timely manner in which she thinks our two worlds exist nothing alike. Why is it that we seem to strive to be so much different from the very human beings that loved, cherished, nourished and would give their very lives for us? Why do we view them in such a way that we want to do everything possible to be nothing like them? I speak in most cases, but certainly not ALL cases.

I try to think back to the days of growing up, how I felt, what I thought about my Mom. I don't know...she probably irritated me, I probably thought she was old fashioned, maybe a little dominant. But, those things don't really stand out in my mind in a sense...what does is rather her love....for me. My Mom has always and I mean ALWAYS been there for me in every situation, every circumstance, every turn of life, and even in just the standing still times. She has been a counselor to me in so many ways with SO much wisdom and encouragement. She has applied the deepest of love even when I've hurt her the most. I can't imagine her not being here always to still help and guide me through this thing we call life.

Both of my daughters still have SO VERY much growing up to do. Age holds NO standard of telling us when we are grown by any means. In their eyes, of course, they have arrived and somewhere along the way Mom derailed and fell off the tracks. I am not saying they aren't grown because they don't appreciate Mom the way they should, but rather they have yet to see what this life is all about, what really matters and what is most important. Popularity, guys, parties, social events, friends, jobs, appearance and what makes ME happy is none of it. Rather it is God and God alone...pure and whole that makes life matter, life complete and what is most important.
And someday. . .they will know this too.

Heck, they might even realize Mom isn't so Amish after all !!

Until then, I will trust, I will wait and I will pray for them as God takes them on their journey of that He has designed for them.

I don't hope to sound like a broken record on here talking about my Mom and my kids. I really will have other stories to tell. These are just topics near and dear to my heart for now.

Thanks for reading. You are appreciated! :)

"Do the Hustle!"

Happy Labor Day to everyone! I hope the rain hasn't dampened your activities planned.



Now that I've entered the world of Blogging, I can't help but to be thinking of what my next blog might be about. I have graduated from searching for just the right status to the more illustrious idea of what will my next Blog be. Ha!


The other day I was cleaning. When I clean there are two things I love - 1. To have an empty house as in no other human forms in sight. 2. To have my music on. . . loudly. My kids KNOW when Mom is in the cleaning mode of mind. All they have to do is listen when approaching the house and if there are certain vibrations escaping the house walls then they are most sure that Yup, Mom is cleaning once again. :)
Now my music consist of whatever mood I may be in for that day. Sometimes it's old stuff, sometimes its new stuff.....and sometimes its just all in between stuff. I still say the best cleaning music is the Mary Poppins soundtrack! :)


I really do have a point to all of this....stay with me.


On this particular day I was cleaning to the sounds of Disco no doubt. Very energetic and inspiring music indeed. ;) It came to the song "Do the Hustle" and as always that song itself holds some memories. I have to smile and tell you this is one of my favorite songs. You see this became THE song that would always be remembered as the song that took me out of the world of public school and placed me in the "more serene" place of private school. I guess I owe this song a lot of value and respect in most cases, if truth be told, for without it I may have never had the wonderful opportunity to meet and be friends with a large portion of those of you here on my FB. :) And let me say, I'm so thankful for each and everyone of you!


Now, if you are sitting there reading this and wondering "What in the heck is this girl talking about??" I will try to clarify and not draw it out ever so long. I was attending public school grades 1-6th. In the 6th, my Mom began to question what she was seeing in the schools. Among some things, she saw disrespect of what was being taught at home verses what was being at school as right and acceptable. In so many words, she saw her daughter being punished for living what was right and valuable in their eyes and in God's. She couldn't accept that. And the straw that broke the camel's back, as they say, was where this very song stepped in. I've never been quite sure of just how my Mom came to find out, but she did, not that I was ever hiding it from her....no....she just found out. Too many years ago to remember. She had found out that the school was teaching her daughter to dance to songs for P.E! Ok, you can laugh here....I really don't mind...because I myself, her herself, in fact my entire family has laughed through the years over these circumstances. But way back then...it was serious. It was a matter of what was right vs what is wrong. She marched herself up there and very rightly told them that her daughter would by NO means be learning to dance as a form of Physical Education. Well, with that being said, they punished me instead. I was told each PE class to go to the library and write a 1,000 word (seriously i dont remember how many) essay on some random person or idea. I probably informed dear Mother at this time of what was going on. She would have none of it and that is when her and my Dad, along with much prayer I'm sure, decided to take me out of public and into private. As I said at the beginning, there was other things that were happening to make her come to this decision, but it will always and forever be known as ...... My Mom took me out of public and put be in private because I was dancing to the song of "Do the Hustle". {You can laugh again.}


I share all of that with you to make an even greater point. My Mom and my Dad did what they felt was right for me in my life. I can either choose to accept their love, protection, and values OR I can choose to think they really messed up, denied me of having a "life", kept me from living out in the real world. Today, I know I can say with all honesty....I believe they did exactly what was right and just for me....and I thank them. In saying that, I will also tell you through growing up I had my doubts about it. I couldn't help but think thoughts such as IF I had been allowed to stay in public maybe this or maybe that would be so different for me. But, in that thinking I realized this: God has/had a plan for me. God directs my footsteps. God chooses my path. And in knowing those things I can say "Thank ya Jesus!!"


In knowing all of that, I also know that we today as parents have many many decisions to make regarding our own children. We often wonder and fret about having made the right choice the right decision for them. We pray and ask God to guide us. Sometimes it can very well seem like we are blindly going forth and just trusting that God will make it all work out for His glory and our good. And as they grow up they make their own decisions for themselves and sometimes.....those decisions do NOT reflect what we would've chosen for them. We wonder where did we go wrong? But....we haven't gone anywhere wrong. They are God's children, if they have a relationship with HIm, They belong to Him and He alone loves them moreso than we could EVER think about loving them. He has a plan for them.....just as He had a plan for me many years ago. We trust God to take them down their own paths - EVEN when they are paths that seem wrong. No matter what, His plan stands and His path is perfect.


I know this is long, as I have said, I'm a writer and express much of me through it. I want to sincerely thank you for taking the time to read it. My husband and kids just roll their eyes when they see how much I write. Ha! :)


O did I tell ya....my parents are "dancers" themselves now....GO FIGURE! Yes, they love and enjoy the world of square dancing. Haha! I think that still fits in the description of the Baptist guidelines. {wink}


Thanks again and have a wonderful day of knowing.....God is in control and is leading you in your decisions. :)


PS: I made some wonderful friends back in the public school days that are here as my FB friends. I am deeply grateful for you all as well.

"I love my Mom"

Ok, so here is my first official blog I guess you could say.....YAY!
I really wasn't planning on starting out with this, but decided to go ahead with it.

This evening as I was on my walk I saw a boy outside. He was most likely 7-9 years of age. He was proudly wearing a shirt that said (in capital letters no doubt) "I LOVE MY MOM". When I saw this I had to smile. I smiled because one day. . . he will be embarrased by such a shirt and would gladly discard it. But today, for now. . . he proudly wears it.

It makes me think of how our babies start out in life. The cycle goes as follows: Newborns - bibs, shirts, onesies all stating "I love my Daddy/Mommy" "Daddys angel" "Mommys angel". Toddlers - Pre-School: same thing only now instead of "Angel" it becomes "Daddys Little Man" "Mommys Little Princess" and so on and so on....you get the picture. Our children adore us and gladly wear the clothes of doting parents who adore them. Sometimes, as shown to me through this little boy tonight, their proud display of loving Mom/Dad can last for awhile.

But then one day, something happens. They start growing up.

No more open displays of affection for dear old Mom and Dad. In fact, in some cases, no more affection shown even in non-open displays. And I wonder the age old question of "WHY?" Why is it that in life you go through this journey of moving away from those who love you the MOST? Is it just to become independent? Which  yes I'm sure many of you would say YES to that. But, wouldn't it be so MUCH better to give and to receive genuine love from those who could help you the most?

I guess it's much like we ourselves with Christ's love and blessings for us in our lifes. He offers it freely, lovingly, gently. . .but never forces it on us. I truly, without a doubt, believe that those who are God's children can never walk away from Him as some seem to believe. That just isn't true. God cannot disown Himself. He cannot remove Himself from the heart of his own. Therefore, I believe that we can choose what some may think is their own path, but in all actuality IF Romans 8:28 is right and I for sure know it is....then ALL things work together for good. All paths chosen, taken. . . God knows exactly how to make them turn around and still be the path He had planned all along. We just aren't as clever as He is sometimes to see that. :)

Back to the subject at hand.
I suppose we all take a journey  through life. Some a little more drastic than others. But, we love the ones God has lovingly placed in our lives. . .whether it be received or not is in God's hands. And we know that someday, in time, through patience. . .our love will be returned.

As for me. . . I say give me the shirt that proudly claims "I LOVE MY MOM" I will wear it everyday!! Ok, well maybe every other day. :))

God bless the little boy who proudly loves his Mom. . .and gave me my first blog to write about. And God bless YOU my friend!

Thanks for reading!! :)